#RIPTedNugent America lost a true hero. And by "true" I mean "white" and "hero" I mean "person"

Tony Danza broke all our hearts RT “@roxyisrad: He broke my heart but I remembered his birthday. So, that's a "fuck you" to him, right?”

REPRESENT @williamtaft27!! RT @buzzfeedandrew @yooncnn Today marks 100 years since we had a president w/ a mustache pic.twitter.com/hQe8ggj1mG

the ability to use a cheese grater “@vampiliciousxo: only difference between animals & humans is that only humans think theres a difference”

STOP THE TWITTER. the perfect tweet has been tweeted. In re: to his presidential genital nickname RT "@cay_jen: you mean "Hoover DAYYUUM"?"

Shit yeah. I hope you brought booze or babes as a gift. “@canadazack: Happy President's Day @wgharding”

@mjcflorida77 look I'm as conservative as they come, but that logic is fucking idiotic. #NotReadyForPrimetime

I think his sons do @jesuswithissues @jesus_m_christ RT“@idreamof_gypsy: I don't think God reads Facebook posts.
Should I tell my friends?”

@kengjuan @danielbrennan Romney has had neither half the sex nor booze to even be mentioned in the same sentence as me. For shame

@jocelynseip that's your favorite thing with airports? How about when a giant metal machine picks you up & flies you safely across the world

Sometimes I read my old tweets to remind myself how awesome I am

@boganjustice number of women binders Obama has: 0. #teamromney #tcot

#ThingsYouSayToYourBestFriend Ghostbusters 2 was fucking awesome

#ff @wgharding @wgharding @wgharding @wgharding @ladygaga @wgharding @wgharding @wgharding @seagullcharlie @wgharding @wgharding

#IWishYouKnew that combining lucky charms, corn flakes, capn crunch and pop tarts doesn't make a complete breakfast @williamtaft27

Fuck it. If I can't get #WarrenGHardingsPenisIsMassive to trend after 5 posts, it's not worth it. #twitterishardwork. #tcot

@generalgrevious you should change the oil after every 30,000 miles or 5 planet destructions

That's the GOP attitude I need in my cabinet @jenny4ashley

@hermancainshat which direction do we have to move the country in so I get more tequila and pinball machines? Cause ill work for that

Once my wife did that. Then that bitch tried to murder me “@phantasmagoriax: Guys- When your girl shaves everything from the eyebrows down"