@WaldoFudd's (Glen Cook) most faved Tweets...
Forget it Beer! This is my Wife's Makeup, Lipstick & Vanity Mirror. You are not the Boss of Me... OK just this once.
At my Wife's Birthday Party I fell face first into the Cake. She said I made a "Bad Impression". Whatever! That Imprint looked Just Like Me.
Ever try to pick up a Hot Girl by hitting on her less attractive friend ... get really drunk and forget your whole strategy? Yeah... me too.
I do get teased a lot about my surfeit of body hair. Sometimes when we're driving, my wife will turn to me and ask "Are we there Yeti?"
Preparing 2 minute noodles: Remove Noodles from packet, Steep in hot water, add contents of flavour sachet... Discard & buy Food.
I fed the Jack Russell raw bacon. You shouldn't do that, it's too much like human flesh. Now he's just staring at me... & licking his lips.
Having your Proctologist whisper his cell phone number in your ear during a prostate exam. #worstfeeling
I meet a Friend. I'm Single, She's Single, I say, "I don't want to ruin our Friendship" & suddenly I'm Adam telling Eve. that she's Fat.
Speaking of "Power Walkers": If you wedged 6 foot poles between their butt cheeks, they'd look like Metronomes
Hey, maybe it's a "small town New Zealand" thing, but over here... A lot of the *Cougars* dress a bit like Leopards.
I hope that you'll all buy my latest Self Help book, on the art of being *Seen* to care. It's called "Chicken Soup for the Ego".
"I would follow you to the ends of the Earth." Earth is flat right? Because otherwise Baby... You know, we're just going 'round in circles.
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