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KFC- Killing Fat Children
That awkward moment when you get everything wet in the house except pussy.
This is harder than it looks - me taking a dump in a moving car
There are about 76 words in Birdman's vocabulary, all of which are misspelled and 10 are bird calls.
Going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
I have to be careful when I email my boss because when I put 'yes m'am', my phone autocorrects it to 'no fucking shit Sherlock'
I really don't see why people don't pay me to sleep. I'm fucking awesome at that.
It's hard to masturebate when there are so many people here at church
I think you need to use that penis pump of yours on your brain.
#MyHomelessSignWouldSay will publicly fellate for wifi
Enlarge your penis! Click now!
I deliver pizzas. It's like the movie Waiting but on wheels.