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I really don't see why people don't pay me to sleep. I'm fucking awesome at that.
It's hard to masturebate when there are so many people here at church
When a chick gets famous, first thing she thinks about is 'How many dudes did I send naked pictures to?'
I don't know what I fear more. People finding dick picks on my phone, or that one Nickelback song I kinda sorta like
Sometimes I wonder about the hamster in my head. And sometimes I wonder if it's wearing pink socks.
I took a nap to get away from my problems but when i woke up it was still the zombie apocalypse
I wonder if girls play swords like guys do in the restrooms.
I call my weed the Quran cuz when I burn that shit I get stoned like a muthafucka
I fucking hate it when people smell like fresh rape.
I protect kittens from pirates. That is all.
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