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Mom just asked how many pterodactyls of space she needs to put 200 photos on a hard drive.
I high fived a jaguar yesterday. Top that!
Stop tapping your god damn feet.
Ugh I'm sorry for showing this to you.
Waiting for the Mailbox app was more fun than the actual mailbox app.
My mom just said "vaginal vault".
I'm probably the closest thing to sweet that you're ever gonna get.