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  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    At some point in my life "I'm up for whatever" turned into "not this shit, again."

    • 38
    • FAVS
    VirgoSherryFRANKSTALICIOUSscrirc____________cattmalaTequilaTearsamuirinredpawn3Nickadoo
    • 12
    • RETWEETS
    thebrianlopezLokiWolfrunnerFitzyIndigored_hotautophobic_meCarrieNicklethAtoneGeyeMyNameIsTimHi
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    My happy dance makes Blind Melon's bumble bee girl look like an amature whimsicalist.

    • 31
    • FAVS
    scrirc____________cattmalaTequilaTearsredpawn3Nickadooteriberry11dr_ridiculousCh8rming
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    Ohgosh17mrsrussell0509davinadoeshairPhotoGirl_WPAlyssaStevesdonni
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    This chick has more red flags than China on Mao Day.

    • 24
    • FAVS
    scrirc____________cattmalaTequilaTearsredpawn3blondediva11mf4u4fun__SSAboulEladr_ridiculous
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    FrickinSunshinerobocreepclarifyme________buck4itt
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    I make friends by waiting for people to flex in public and then pretending to be impressed in an overly boisterous manner.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    scrirc____________cattmalaredpawn3battiscopa____teriberry11Ch8rmingBeerhazedonni
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    dr_ridiculous
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    All we are saying America is it's better to be skinny with an eating disorder, than fat with an eating disorder.

    • 18
    • FAVS
    cattmalaMyDarkSide73rydontcare________hoopahoepCMFC99VirgoSherrytadealcalSuMacDan
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    redpawn3StanceofDogsNickOBear6
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    No, sir. It does not behoove me. These feet are permanent.

    • 16
    • FAVS
    cattmalaTequilaTearsredpawn3Nickadooteriberry11dr_ridiculousmightymouse______iamsaltlake
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    kaiakaiakaia
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    "I am going to go to the bar and share my shitty opinions with strangers until they walk away." - a bastard.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    cattmalaNickadooteriberry11dr_ridiculousCh8rmingdonnitrialfemmeHandofTodd
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    dlsayerslacywetzelNickadoo
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Hopefully these karate lessons will keep my alarm clock from kicking my ass every morning.

    • 13
    • FAVS
    cattmaladizzyidjitLaJoyBurgeAgamemNOMNOMCpez38mightymouse______kaiakaiakaiaVirgoSherry
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Cpez38wesjohnson8
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    "Fuck you we ain't closin'." - M'eyes.

    "You guys are gonna regret this tomorrow." - M'brain.

    "Just one more time..." - M'penis.

    • 12
    • FAVS
    cattmalaplungeritisdizzyidjitCuntRunt__________ThrobbbNHood______QuagSwaggeredLaetPOCpez38
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    CuntRunt__________Cpez38
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Don't dive into shallow friendships.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    sweetpprmintteafortuitouslifeLipgloss_NerdPawanKookaniShaneezaAllififty_budsredpawn3Beerhaze
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    FilterlessFemmefortuitouslifePawanKookanififty_budsredpawn3
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Money can't buy me love, but it can make loving me a lot easier.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    cattmalarydontcare________VirgoSherrytadealcalSpiderogerredpawn3TequilaTearsBeerhaze
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    redpawn3kaiakaiakaia
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    I wish m'penis could sneak into vaginas as easily as it sneaks out of my boxers.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    teriberry11Ch8rmingtrialfemmedonniBeerhazeredpawn3mightymouse______UGotMeRight
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    teriberry11kaiakaiakaia
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Virginity has five stages of development: Normal, noble, creepy, sad, and crazy cat lady.

    • 8
    • FAVS
    richmckaystellanawvuhhellcaesarNickadookeatingthomaslove_shuntjeff_ratfamily____siouxdonnem
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    hand_lotionThe_KPGcathatbatkeatingthomas
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    I always introduce myself to people with my first and last name, so they can call me Mr. Watstein after feeling the strength of my handshake

    • 10
    • FAVS
    katiepanks________hoopahoepbeingtheo________Twisty_Monster____donniVirgoSherryainttellinshitredpawn3
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    redpawn3
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Boring people just suck at telling their story.

    • 10
    • FAVS
    Anelly04SuMacDansmilum77kramedigglesMomfiadepreciated______travisezellmightymouse______
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    mightymouse______
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    People always seem surprised that I don't trust them, and I'm always surprised they find themselves so trustworthy.

    • 9
    • FAVS
    cattmalaVirgoSherryQuagSwaggeredNotThatKevinredpawn3schmidityybuck4ittkaiakaiakaia
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    oldkimcoleredpawn3
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Oh, hey 1920s! Your economy is doing well this summer? That's nice. I'm sitting in a 70 degree room in fucking June, and will be all summer.

    • 11
    • FAVS
    cattmalaNickadoomightymouse______teriberry11NowAPisceskaiakaiakaiaFilthyRichmondhollyberryness
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    I wish there were enough good looking, romantic, millionaire, professional athlete/actors for every girl to get what she thinks she deserves

    • 7
    • FAVS
    MayhemCzarTheWholeJoelhoopahoepStayGoldenGurlgalina323ififty_budsredpawn3
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    galina323ififty_budsredpawn3
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    I hate being too old to show off my empty bottles of booze on the top of the fridge.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    stevewilliams52ainttellinshitComedianKristiIslander_DI______VirgoSherrydonniredpawn3
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    MrsBriceAnthonystevewilliams52ainttellinshit
  • Watstein
      Wat. Stein. @Watstein

    Even as a child, I felt bad for the grownups living inside the clowns.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    VirgoSherryMyPolishFacestellanawvuhfreebirdPDXDr_Haber__________
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    a_major_forestCarrieNSwainFreddyWonderMyPolishFacefreebirdPDX
@Watstein

@Watstein

I remove thoughts and commentary from the context of daily life for your amusement. Lower your expectations.