The spam/hacked accounts on Twitter are going strong today. Don't click on links sent in DMs--especially "work from home" links.

I just caught a bird eating my dog's chicken-based dog food. I chased it away because I'd want someone to do that for me in that scenario.

WOOOOOOOO! I just bought: 'Trials of Artemis (The Haberdashers)' by Sue London @cmdrsue via @amazonkindle  http://www.amazon.com/dp/B00CR70RF2/ref=cm_sw_r_tw_ask_.NxYF.0AG0ESD …

It's Oreo o'clock. #TheClockJustStruckOreo

@jillsmo So.Very.True. No Child Left Behind as it is--is designed without interventions for SN kids but also to discriminate against them.

“We're all mentally ill. Those of us outside the asylums only hide it a little better - and maybe not all that much better...” Stephen King

When my husband saw it, he said--immediately, "We should frame that and put it on our wall." I love this man. pic.twitter.com/UwexW4pb7D

I love that "Bionic Eyes are Coming to the U.S." is trending on my Twitter stream...though initially I though Bionic Eyes was a band name.

Dear Autocorrect, "It's sucky he has celiac" loses something when it's corrected to "It's ducky he has celibacy." #LostInTranslation

Hey, I found out you CAN return a loaned book on the Kindle earlier than the 14 days. 2nd question under FAQs: http://t.co/EfLICluj

I miss Calvin and Hobbes. | Calvin and Hobbes Join the #OccupyFrontLawn Movement http://t.co/bXYfewdq

Wow, that's a sexy car. #AgelessHawtness | Gorgeous concept car predicted future in 1969 — and now it's back: http://t.co/4HRul1Pj

@mireyahwolfe A society that does not invest in the preservation of knowledge is a society doomed to failure and anarchy. #HuzzahLibraries

The voices in my head told me to kill someone, so I did. #BumperStickersForWriters #ThatDoubleAsBumperStickersForSerialKillers

The Oxford comma is my copilot, anchor, and driver. #BumperStickersForWriters

Today I researched how best to kill a stranger. Go ahead and tailgate. #BumperStickersForWriters #ThatDoubleAsBumperStickersForSerialKillers

I have figured out the breadmaker cheese bread dilemma. Coating chunks of cheese in flour and adding the chunks right before rise cycle.

What kind of migraine is it when you can see the eye of Sauron whenever you close your eyes?

1 1/4 c b rice flr, 1 1/2 c w rice flr, 1/4 c potato starch, 1 c tapioca starch, 1/3 c cornstarch, 2 tsp xanthan gum, 2 1/4 tsp potato flr

Me: That cup on the bathroom floor apparently trapping an enormous spider? Husband: Right, I meant to take care of that. Happy Mother's Day!