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  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Old McDonald had a farm. He also had a redheaded goth son named Ronald who did acid and talked to hamburgers and purple blobby things.

    • 1,651
    • FAVS
    DylhanHarterJacoby_PLukeNorthbadC_Dunn18ImANerdyGingerShatteredSuckersamiam604lukepape
    • 1,178
    • RETWEETS
    DylhanHarterShatteredSuckersamiam604lukepapeTobiSinclairJoshua_PerrinZNARF272tmoswole
    dietredbullTheDailySchmuckdarinlovesbaconUrbanDouchebagArroiaiamshakenbakeConcernedSirGuyjoeljeffreyBrianSaetreXGroverXsmedleeBenjyHimmel
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Fanny packs are cool if you wear them to the side like a gangsta.

    • 1,028
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoComedianDorianVTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreAngrEdmontonianEwans_DadBoozieEyedJoe
    • 524
    • RETWEETS
    PressOneForNoComedianDorianVAngrEdmontonianEwans_Dadjrb_85RevMGDNormyChaplinKentWGraham
    UrbanDouchebagConcernedSirGuyOfficeofSteveVintageBabe1212PanettaSexyTimeICagbanusiGarreTheFerretDanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.

    • 1,004
    • FAVS
    12ForAPennyTheObscureGentsObscureTrevorCelebrityChezDylanJJacobsonSwoldemortdonnyb185ObscureGent
    • 374
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevordonnyb185ObscureGentComedianDorianVEwans_DadslugginthruWEIRDCHRISTMASjackiem86503465
    GoofpoopsOfficeofSteveVodkaShorebirdShaunRightNowTheTennisPhenomTheChrimsonKing
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I prefer women with facial hair, because they have a better chance of surviving a harsh winter.

    • 871
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoComedianDorianVTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreHiddleDeeDeeAngrEdmontonianEwans_Dad
    • 321
    • RETWEETS
    PressOneForNoEwans_DadmelbolsKrogstiePlaying_Dadgianni_bcnB_poling82davetureq
    OfficeofSteveHeyZeus666naazihahPanettaSexyTimejake_likes_napsSmithWitDanKCharnleyTheFearBoners____BigHeb7Mothpete
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    "Some people say I'm an animal in the sack." - baby kangaroo

    • 748
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentredherringbearPressOneForNoComedianDorianVaabheshHateOnHawleyTmoney68ElKnuckelhombre
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    ComedianDorianVAud118Blam_SwagStepTmoney68frfitzsiEwans_DadBoozieEyedJoehunterrlogan
    JB_4_RealzjwoodhamJosesLovesYouCroweJamMonsoonPuma
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What if the Loch Ness Monster was a drowning giraffe? I bet you feel bad now, don't you.

    • 583
    • FAVS
    SDPlissken1NikxitownDistantDistant4ScoreN20Bowlstheshantillymomma0315momopface12ForAPenny
    • 353
    • RETWEETS
    NikxitownRambleOfaReefer4ScoreN20BowlstheshantillymomopfaceObscureTrevoriammaylynnObscureGent
    Cpin42JustLikeMikeeCheeseboy22
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Hand a baby a fork and he looks like a young Poseidon.

    • 609
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoJohnPalRiveraComedianDorianVTmoney68ElKnuckelhombrejn3poAngrEdmontonian
    • 301
    • RETWEETS
    ComedianDorianVjn3poAngrEdmontonianEwans_DadBoozieEyedJoeMr_KapowskiKentWGrahamA_positive_soul
    WookieOnUnicornibid78MidgetsparSadPerunaJermHimselfish
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What's up with all of these commercials about a reptile dysfunction? These elderly fellows should worry about their own health first...

    • 647
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreMr_Kapowskigianni_bcnkzmarshmallowShaistaJustin
    • 206
    • RETWEETS
    gianni_bcnkatkittykatty__RealShaughnonume_emzdesjpantsofthunderleechee420Jojo_51213
    ninatreemonkeyJCWisdomNuggetsLoyalTrophiestheschmeltzKevoQuinonez
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.

    • 594
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNochrispd990ermahgarton06kateelizabethsleunig21Tmoney68ElKnuckelhombre
    • 233
    • RETWEETS
    BCSkimAud118kspinks4485sleunig21kapils2116Tmoney68Mind_fukkMr_Kapowski
    OfficeofSteveeric10FjoeljeffreyosigatBillFienbergevanrhorneDanKCharnleyYesitsAl
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Would someone PLEASE invent open toe dress shoes for men so I can show off my toenails.

    • 622
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoComedianDorianVTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreBoozieEyedJoeNiceLittleWifepprincess_alexx
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    ComedianDorianVSilverBadgerMind_fukkPeevedLifecerveza_y_tacosMr_KapowskiSirrruhKrisStellafied
    AnemoneOhVodkaShorebirdRubyBottomsYesThatAmyElephartDanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I'm not afraid to call my guy friends "babe."

    • 555
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoComedianDorianVTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreBoozieEyedJoeMr_KapowskiB_poling82
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    B_poling82loca_cat_ladysarahnatasya15jumpdasharktheskeletongrin__OfficeofSteveLorieGZweffy93
    duplicitron
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.

    • 587
    • FAVS
    Mamaleh2bradley1aKristin_M_3HashtagNBDranoRauliinkedZombieLeeLuvYogawinst0nsm1th
    • 188
    • RETWEETS
    bradley1aKristin_M_3iinkedZombieSimmillKjTingySExclamationmarklvvzztsst1084
    KittySaysMeeowocourtneyno
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Are we absolutely sure that Serena Williams isn't the quarterback of the Redskins?

    • 492
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoComedianDorianVTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreDrewPNuttsSayhikristyMind_fukk
    • 208
    • RETWEETS
    SayhikristyMind_fukkSirrruhB_poling82jumpdasharkconcretesledge_RealShaughndad_divorced
    WhosTheresa
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Please be patient and let me finish my long story that you don't care about. I want to hear your fake laugh at the end.

    • 412
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNo_NataliCastilloComedianDorianVTmoney68kumoaElKnuckelhombreMorningstar1316
    • 233
    • RETWEETS
    duckpolice911ComedianDorianVSayhikristyMind_fukkjackiem86503465MikiepooELEPHANTSiNJARSzami_singson
    KendellMaddenLuckoftheDraw86SolelyBYour_Boy_DylanDanKCharnleydjr_102
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I was caught waving my hands in the air like I just don't care by some old people, but they thought I cared and waved back.

    • 406
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreMr_KapowskiFrankieTheAngelPriya_27_MirabelleMarie
    • 176
    • RETWEETS
    PressOneForNofavstar_historyjumpdasharkTwisted_MettleRealShaughnBRURAYYAJonathanGoranfusedude
    WildeThingyDurtMcHurtt
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Most people don't realize the Hunchback of Notre Dame's back problems were a result of his grueling database entry job.

    • 439
    • FAVS
    12ForAPennyOtterEmporiumMortimerJMooseTheObscureGentsObscureTrevorxluciferaxCelebrityChezObscureGent
    • 132
    • RETWEETS
    OtterEmporiumObscureTrevorObscureGentJay1972Jayimthefunny1jackiem86503465Mr_Kapowskigianni_bcn
    DanKCharnleyKevoQuinonez
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What if Cookie Monster was censored and this whole time he has been talking about boobies instead of cookies?

    • 359
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoTmoney68synapsensuppekumoaElKnuckelhombrezami_singsonGhostAlphaKilo
    • 136
    • RETWEETS
    kumoaGhostAlphaKilozami_singsonfavstar_historydatafaucetjumpdasharkTampaBayMommatrumpthechump
    mrtruthandsoul
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely.

    • 324
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoTmoney68ElKnuckelhombrejaimpeltzjustmegirlRRmaggiewhatssParkBalanoff
    • 166
    • RETWEETS
    FFC_UFCjustmegirlRRzami_singsonCrissyhasTweetsMr_KapowskiJohnnyBoy7634UnIxphyscojumpdashark
    DanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What's the deal with ladies and showerheads? Can someone please explain this to me?...in great detail?..DM me, and don't leave anything out.

    • 381
    • FAVS
    12ForAPennyTheObscureGentsObscureTrevorxluciferaxCelebrityChezObscureGentPressOneForNoTmoney68
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorxluciferaxObscureGentB_poling82The1WhosCrazyMr_KapowskijumpdasharkTwisted_Mettle
    DanKCharnleyWhosTheresa
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    French Fries in France are called American Dicks. Trust me, I've asked at plenty of restaurants over here.

    • 386
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentPressOneForNoTmoney68ElKnuckelhombreMr_KapowskiB_poling82WittySassBasketphully
    • 97
    • RETWEETS
    B_poling82datafaucetBrianSaetreMadamBetteNoireconcretesledge_ElJeffrowleechee420bacon_gillepic
    wearesoaloneTheFearBoners____
@WetzelGeek

@WetzelGeek
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Harbinger of Breath. Destroyer of Words. Perspiring comic book writer: Death Saves anthology, Feral NYC, Magic Bullet, Fantastic 4th Graders.

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