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  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Old McDonald had a farm. He also had a redheaded goth son named Ronald who did acid and talked to hamburgers and purple blobby things.

    • 1,019
    • FAVS
    BDGarpdbryceghZacharyLeroy801andreadawn_8ericONEderfulWookieOnUnicornHappyBnnyrajanJc
    • 753
    • RETWEETS
    flashy__cbZacharyLeroy801WookieOnUnicornlesbihaviorLymielyfejaslakhmnaInitials_numberSMofHRinHC
    UrbanDouchebagArroiaiamshakenbakeConcernedSirGuyjoeljeffreyBrianSaetreXGroverXsmedleeBenjyHimmel
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Fanny packs are cool if you wear them to the side like a gangsta.

    • 871
    • FAVS
    BDGarpJoseph_GreenwayGenny_jelloSofiaLuvikeeetymammataylornicole23donnasammydavid_tull
    • 436
    • RETWEETS
    Initials_numberkeeetymammadavid_tulldaskidcoppiScorpionDongposhbirdgabinoodaiiNerdyBirdy346
    ConcernedSirGuyOfficeofSteveVintageBabe1212PanettaSexyTimeICagbanusiGarreTheFerretDanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.

    • 915
    • FAVS
    montanaflemingplasticdeerWookieOnUnicornJhonRulesJoseph_Greenwayilayewdavid_tullMrNickJC
    • 337
    • RETWEETS
    JhonRulesilayewwinkibelle09Mortal_Rombat17savage_wienerredthe1deathtoscumbagsLerky
    djdavemichaelsShaunRightNowTheTennisPhenomTheChrimsonKing
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I prefer women with facial hair, because they have a better chance of surviving a harsh winter.

    • 739
    • FAVS
    PaperWashWookieOnUnicornRyneBraunSolelyBNiall_GaffJoseph_GreenwaySofiaLuviwilliam_mobi
    • 262
    • RETWEETS
    ilayewredthe1daskidcoppiflashemberMcSwtrvstest1975blogHecklersDelightiLikeCatShirts
    HeyZeus666naazihahPanettaSexyTimejake_likes_napsSmithWitDanKCharnleyTheFearBoners____BigHeb7Mothpete
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    "Some people say I'm an animal in the sack." - baby kangaroo

    • 584
    • FAVS
    WookieOnUnicornGenny_jelloSofiaLuvitaylornicole23david_tullwilliam_mobiMrNickJCthe_tsai_guy
    • 218
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullKelseaKerfufflecloblojob__redthe1giddyboozingdaskidcoppiWine_PlzBadfliks
    jwoodhamJosesLovesYouCroweJamMonsoonPuma
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What's up with all of these commercials about a reptile dysfunction? These elderly fellows should worry about their own health first...

    • 609
    • FAVS
    Genny_jelloSteph38383david_tullredthe1radtoriaTheTokMoffAHoundNamedAlbagiddyboozing
    • 192
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullgiddyboozingdaskidcoppiTeejayRushfeatherlouTravesMcPunkTheIronSherkttouchton
    ninatreemonkeyJCWisdomNuggetsLoyalTrophiestheschmeltzKevoQuinonez
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Hand a baby a fork and he looks like a young Poseidon.

    • 515
    • FAVS
    swinesoupandreadawn_8ericONEderfulduplicitronnatethemilkmanheykarlinWookieOnUnicornTwatleyVerbatim
    • 261
    • RETWEETS
    WookieOnUnicornBigBang6000The_DorksterKelsey_Gordon13david_tullgiddyboozingdaskidcoppipriscillaOvO
    WookieOnUnicornibid78MidgetsparSadPerunaJermHimselfish
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.

    • 519
    • FAVS
    PaperWashJoseph_GreenwayGenny_jelloSofiaLuvidavid_tullredthe1radtoriapsinerd
    • 207
    • RETWEETS
    Kelsey_Gordon13david_tullgiddyboozingmattkinkadedaskidcoppiMadisonVoirolthatdutchpersonjologz
    OfficeofSteveeric10FjoeljeffreyosigatBillFienbergevanrhorneDanKCharnleyYesitsAl
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Would someone PLEASE invent open toe dress shoes for men so I can show off my toenails.

    • 570
    • FAVS
    Joseph_GreenwayGypsyNevaehtriSARAHtops77BeamishBoi_alexrasmussenChristianPlanteWendiwolfF6WOZ9
    • 145
    • RETWEETS
    Brony_ShitsmyeverylstnerveLHaveraleSofiaLuvidaskidcoppiaura_birdiethatdutchpersonjessylynn40
    djdavemichaelsRubyBottomsYesThatAmyElephartDanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What if the Loch Ness Monster was a drowning giraffe? I bet you feel bad now, don't you.

    • 418
    • FAVS
    Joseph_GreenwayilayewSofiaLuvidavid_tullMrNickJCdeanyork12SistaCrumpetJaneBadall
    • 258
    • RETWEETS
    ilayewandizyanredthe1giddyboozingdaskidcoppijonslowDoubleauntAndrelookhomeward
    JustLikeMikeeCheeseboy22
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I'm not afraid to call my guy friends "babe."

    • 467
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_selfuncontrolnocturnallymeIdHateToBeSe7enkingof_castleJoseph_GreenwaySofiaLuvidavid_tull
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    the_real_patty_krissyyx3_IdHateToBeSe7enDeLorean4salegiddyboozingWhatevaConcJohn_Mike_mattkinkade
    duplicitron
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Are we absolutely sure that Serena Williams isn't the quarterback of the Redskins?

    • 444
    • FAVS
    david_tullAHoundNamedAlbaMollySneedWine_PlzflashemberKittySaysMeeowthatdutchpersondippythesquid
    • 193
    • RETWEETS
    dippythesquidiLikeCatShirtsgonzohostilityTlaxBoy05hrbekroenickrndhouseReko420racecarompp
    WhosTheresa
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.

    • 475
    • FAVS
    SolelyBGenny_jellotaylornicole23thefostererdavid_tullpsinerdDelwoodKingsMomScrambledMceggs
    • 139
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullbacon_gillepicgiddyboozing_schneebbitchikerflashemberSweet_Leafs_GinGander
    KittySaysMeeowocourtneyno
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Please be patient and let me finish my long story that you don't care about. I want to hear your fake laugh at the end.

    • 332
    • FAVS
    PaperWashBagyantsxxxadryxxxBlametheADHDJennyPentlandleighlo94GingerSpice_2alsage36
    • 187
    • RETWEETS
    wanjaflaviacaitrosebishopPeanutt_01leighlo94LidooCaainew00f_w00falsage36ParkyLevine
    SolelyBYour_Boy_DylanDanKCharnleydjr_102
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I was caught waving my hands in the air like I just don't care by some old people, but they thought I cared and waved back.

    • 354
    • FAVS
    Genny_jellotaylornicole23david_tullpsinerdAHoundNamedAlbagiddyboozingflashemberqueenothebes
    • 162
    • RETWEETS
    Kelsey_Gordon13david_tullgiddyboozingTheReal_AC2011fortunecookie23MollySneedjonslowradtoria
    WildeThingyDurtMcHurtt
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Most people don't realize the Hunchback of Notre Dame's back problems were a result of his grueling database entry job.

    • 382
    • FAVS
    Joseph_GreenwayGenny_jelloibid78david_tullpsinerdnotbedeliasharon235711giddyboozing
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullthatfunnyjonbacon_gillepicsharon235711KelsieSmurphyJ_Hart03WhatevaConcbitchiker
    DanKCharnleyKevoQuinonez
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    French Fries in France are called American Dicks. Trust me, I've asked at plenty of restaurants over here.

    • 356
    • FAVS
    SofiaLuvidavid_tullpsinerdOhgoddessitsmegiddyboozingflashemberWine_Plzradtoria
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    bacon_gillepicUndercoverDaanthatdutchpersonwhatsthisplaceCruHollaJadeKurlzzHUwillsheaneyl0rdlucas
    wearesoaloneTheFearBoners____
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What's the deal with ladies and showerheads? Can someone please explain this to me?...in great detail?..DM me, and don't leave anything out.

    • 344
    • FAVS
    Joseph_GreenwayGenny_jelloSofiaLuvitaylornicole23thefostererdavid_tullpsinerdgiddyboozing
    • 87
    • RETWEETS
    david_tullradtoriathatdutchpersonJessiCanadianRobocopLustJessikaJordanMBBeachRatMhtMnc
    DanKCharnleyWhosTheresa
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What if Cookie Monster was censored and this whole time he has been talking about boobies instead of cookies?

    • 307
    • FAVS
    Genny_jellothefostererdavid_tullpsinerdAHoundNamedAlbagiddyboozingflashemberjonslow
    • 116
    • RETWEETS
    Genny_jellodavid_tullgiddyboozingTrishamottbacon_gillepicskullpuppy11LS_FaderBrianSaetre
    mrtruthandsoul
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Great job Subway. What better way to reinforce stereotypes than to hire black male athletes to promote $5 footlongs.

    • 299
    • FAVS
    Joseph_GreenwayGenny_jellodavid_tullpsinerdgiddyboozingflashemberteeaysmithibid78
    • 107
    • RETWEETS
    Genny_jellodavid_tullgiddyboozing7Jer_Dun6JessiCanadiandoin_thymeIlliter8__________s34n77
    adambation
@WetzelGeek

@WetzelGeek

Harbinger of Breath. Destroyer of Words. Widely published in bathroom stalls across the country.