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  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Old McDonald had a farm. He also had a redheaded goth son named Ronald who did acid and talked to hamburgers and purple blobby things.

    • 1,347
    • FAVS
    StumpWoodleyPFritz21VonAndrewsteinpeachgrenadedarinlovesbaconImJocavsjonathannn_MicktheSpic
    • 1,016
    • RETWEETS
    NonChronPFritz21kevmancloudMelanieShebeldarinlovesbaconLeeragstolerjdelkjp_daddi0
    darinlovesbaconUrbanDouchebagArroiaiamshakenbakeConcernedSirGuyjoeljeffreyBrianSaetreXGroverXsmedleeBenjyHimmel
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Fanny packs are cool if you wear them to the side like a gangsta.

    • 962
    • FAVS
    StumpWoodleytpurvis06darinlovesbaconjane_botibid78ElroyFudgesad_treeWritepop
    • 489
    • RETWEETS
    darinlovesbaconminealone6RealShaughnGenevieve0404160booksminnie_in_pink7JonathanGoranUnsweetenedTea
    ConcernedSirGuyOfficeofSteveVintageBabe1212PanettaSexyTimeICagbanusiGarreTheFerretDanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I pick up my dog's poop with empty Snickers wrappers. What I do with it afterwards is strictly on a need-to-know basis.

    • 971
    • FAVS
    concretesledge_m_kaczorTampaBayMommasad_treeBlunt_Sarcasticzero3_benzmrsshwebbyJonathanGoran
    • 359
    • RETWEETS
    TampaBayMommaGenevieve0404JonathanGoranfuzzlimeURAMasterpiecespicysweet84pantsofthunderleechee420
    GoofpoopsOfficeofSteveVodkaShorebirdShaunRightNowTheTennisPhenomTheChrimsonKing
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I prefer women with facial hair, because they have a better chance of surviving a harsh winter.

    • 828
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconUrbanDouchebagconcretesledge_Genevieve0404thismoment342BackpackerBooiezero3_benzBrodinStahl
    • 305
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnthismoment342steve_condraTreeBobbrudystienerstundeesandiJayTeaneyjohnecash1
    OfficeofSteveHeyZeus666naazihahPanettaSexyTimejake_likes_napsSmithWitDanKCharnleyTheFearBoners____BigHeb7Mothpete
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    "Some people say I'm an animal in the sack." - baby kangaroo

    • 693
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconjonathannn_LunaLove47SpiderFromMarxMikeCarGuitartrappedmouseMandyG84gmark4311
    • 257
    • RETWEETS
    gmark4311Doctor_MandoShitDerrekSaysspeakyrdreamscbahorizejrNdelMar27jessicammmmariethedelossopher
    jwoodhamJosesLovesYouCroweJamMonsoonPuma
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Hand a baby a fork and he looks like a young Poseidon.

    • 570
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebagkavoinooiKHoppToItconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_TampaBayMommaBlunt_Sarcasticellejizzer
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    kavoinooiconcretesledge_RealShaughnGenevieve0404rachaellaw_TattleTSisterSarcasticMooseJonathanGoran
    WookieOnUnicornibid78MidgetsparSadPerunaJermHimselfish
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What's up with all of these commercials about a reptile dysfunction? These elderly fellows should worry about their own health first...

    • 635
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconUrbanDouchebagconcretesledge_ibid78MacKoolioGenevieve0404zero3_benzPlaying_Dad
    • 204
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnonume_emzdesjpantsofthunderleechee420Jojo_51213GoofpoopsDBMaxP
    ninatreemonkeyJCWisdomNuggetsLoyalTrophiestheschmeltzKevoQuinonez
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What if the Loch Ness Monster was a drowning giraffe? I bet you feel bad now, don't you.

    • 524
    • FAVS
    itsthelaw_son_07thkingTomClancyKyle1092RlpihldarinlovesbaconUrbanDouchebag_Ms_Moneypenny_
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    fedoratipcasedd76RlpihlBlunt_SarcasticRealShaughncharliebrowncbdad_divorcedJediGigi
    Cpin42JustLikeMikeeCheeseboy22
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I knew this neighborhood was classy enough for me when I saw there is a "Pregnant Only" parking spot in front of the Liquor store.

    • 578
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebagconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_ibid78BwanaChrisjetage71Firecat2785J_Illunninati
    • 222
    • RETWEETS
    concretesledge_RealShaughnAlisonzombielan__thesheepisblackJBreversemeReluctantHpstrpantsofthunderleechee420
    OfficeofSteveeric10FjoeljeffreyosigatBillFienbergevanrhorneDanKCharnleyYesitsAl
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I'm not afraid to call my guy friends "babe."

    • 540
    • FAVS
    annarosem3darinlovesbaconcanniballanconcretesledge_fullblowndavebrigitteninty3case_willDrunkestMom
    • 215
    • RETWEETS
    weffy93case_willBenjaminKnolOhgoddessitsmeBownuggetsfellowjockdoc4ScoreN20Bowlsdarrrkstarrr
    duplicitron
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Would someone PLEASE invent open toe dress shoes for men so I can show off my toenails.

    • 591
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconconcretesledge_TampaBayMommaibid78zero3_benzJonathanGorantourettzgothOtherDanOBrien
    • 150
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnJediGigionume_leechee420GoofpoopsBrony_ShitsmyeverylstnerveLHaverale
    VodkaShorebirdRubyBottomsYesThatAmyElephartDanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    My wife wants me to take a walk with her today. I'll be on a short leash though so I won't run off into the woods like last time.

    • 531
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconHydie_Jmil_h0usekavoinooiOutOnTheMoorsconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_ibid78
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    kavoinooiOutOnTheMoorsconcretesledge_RealShaughnonume_scarred_z_headminnie_in_pink7Adar79Angie
    KittySaysMeeowocourtneyno
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Are we absolutely sure that Serena Williams isn't the quarterback of the Redskins?

    • 468
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_ibid78zero3_benzSerrabelldad_divorcedTayloreMcElroy
    • 203
    • RETWEETS
    concretesledge_RealShaughndad_divorcedJediGigiReluctantHpstrhammywtfleechee420s_ashbyjax
    WhosTheresa
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Please be patient and let me finish my long story that you don't care about. I want to hear your fake laugh at the end.

    • 379
    • FAVS
    darinlovesbaconUrbanDouchebagconcretesledge_VerifiedDrunk_Ms_Moneypenny_sheisaHEXcolor5wextmvczero3_benz
    • 216
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnzero3_benzJonathanGoranUnhingedBlahAllysonMonahanRskZandobizarrequotesmyleswatson155
    AHoundNamedAlbaLuckoftheDraw86SolelyBYour_Boy_DylanDanKCharnleydjr_102
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    I was caught waving my hands in the air like I just don't care by some old people, but they thought I cared and waved back.

    • 388
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebagconcretesledge_VerifiedDrunk_Ms_Moneypenny_RealShaughnzero3_benzvapidaccountJonathanGoran
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    RealShaughnBRURAYYAJonathanGoranfusedudefuzzlimeleechee420GoofpoopsRanaHojeij
    WildeThingyDurtMcHurtt
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Most people don't realize the Hunchback of Notre Dame's back problems were a result of his grueling database entry job.

    • 420
    • FAVS
    DommyBear21MarkWillyLudlowUrbanDouchebagLukeJEwingconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_RENskincareSAhannayama12
    • 122
    • RETWEETS
    concretesledge_BrendonWesselspunkystarfishfuzzlimeanguianosolleechee420PanettaSexyTimeShaistaJustin
    DanKCharnleyKevoQuinonez
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What if Cookie Monster was censored and this whole time he has been talking about boobies instead of cookies?

    • 344
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebagconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_TampaBayMommaibid78Blunt_Sarcasticzero3_benztourettzgoth
    • 130
    • RETWEETS
    TampaBayMommatrumpthechumpMattMcGruffmikefofficialluck_of_the_foxfuzzlimeR0llingSt0nerLuckoftheDraw86
    mrtruthandsoul
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    French Fries in France are called American Dicks. Trust me, I've asked at plenty of restaurants over here.

    • 375
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebagchuckenrightMadamBetteNoireconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_zero3_benzOtherDanOBrienjewfacekilla
    • 94
    • RETWEETS
    MadamBetteNoireconcretesledge_ElJeffrowleechee420bacon_gillepicUndercoverDaanthatdutchpersonwhatsthisplace
    wearesoaloneTheFearBoners____
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    Son, there's no need for a paternity test. I knew you were mine when you came prematurely.

    • 302
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebagconcretesledge_ibid78MacKooliozero3_benzskullpuppy11JonathanGoranOtherDanOBrien
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    concretesledge_skullpuppy11JonathanGoranLizardFollowmaggiemaccaroqpleechee420loubellepolly
    DanKCharnley
  • WetzelGeek
      Jeremy Wetzel @WetzelGeek

    What's the deal with ladies and showerheads? Can someone please explain this to me?...in great detail?..DM me, and don't leave anything out.

    • 358
    • FAVS
    UrbanDouchebaglovejulieaynconcretesledge__Ms_Moneypenny_zero3_benzOtherDanOBrienjewfacekillaFoolSpeak
    • 95
    • RETWEETS
    lovejulieaynBBBBBentconcretesledge_onume_favstar_historyleechee420Goofpoopsbchi76
    DanKCharnleyWhosTheresa
@WetzelGeek

@WetzelGeek

Harbinger of Breath. Destroyer of Words. Perspiring comic book writer. http://fantastic4thgraders.tumblr.com/