I just saved a bunch of money on my crazy by switching to Psycho.

Yeah. I know. I know. No one wants to see the fat naked hairy guy.

Woman with cute avi says she masturbates too much; cute and funny. I say it; just creepy.

Is it weird that I use flavored lube to masturbate?

I'm having one of those days where I just want to destroy something beautiful.

I know I'm not funny.




Fuck off.

I don't harbor any delusions of grandeur. Hahahahaha I'm fucking God here!

Why do I always feel like I'm talking to myself?

Ain't nuthin changed my limp...

I can't believe no one wants a mustache ride. Did that sound creepy?

Yup. I am almost completely convinced that, I. Suck. At. Life.

I feel like going for a walk. I wonder where this path goes.

I'm on a tweeting rampage.

Why can't I shoot a load on your face? There's no better way to finish the day.

My mind races of all the things that could be... Ehh, who needs dreams with memories like these?

Guys, I cannot stress the importance of a shaved ballbag and trimmed pubes. You ladies can thank me in person.

@cool_jesse I'd say it's bittersweet. Because, now I'm diabetic. I blame it on her.

@cool_jesse I knew a girl that tasted like watermelon Jolly Ranchers.

Where is Jomby and his fucking floating head wish granting ass when you need him?!

Blah blah this. Blah blah that. Blah blah blah.





Fuck you.