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Happy belated birthday, ALMOST EVERYONE!
Nah man, your sexuality isn't even an issue with me.
I don't see people in gay.
I'm just sayin your pastel mix matched socks are mass legit.
The proof** is in the pudding. **my dick
I'm over being lied to
I'm fucking bulletproof now
I've Ben in America for about 16 hours now, a cop gave me a dirty look for staring at his gun, calm it champ, I wasn't looking at your dick.
Judging by the attendance at my birthday parties as a kid, I may want to look into hiring a few pallbearers in advance.
Watched about two dozen human porn flicks & barely got chub.
I think it's time the government stepped up it's alien capture program a notch.
Men with guitars
Above average intelligence
Form an orderly queue
Or at least exist?
You say 'junk in the trunk' like my wife doesn't even have a name.
When you guys talk about trolls on twitter... Are you talking about the ones with pink hair or blue hair???
You know what's cool? People who get back to surfing after experiencing a shark attack.
I can't even take a bath after watching shark week.
I have a boo boo in my tum tum... now I feel like poo poo!!!
I'm off for a wee holiday for a couple of weeks, depending on wifi I may still get the odd tweet in, if not, see you later fuckers.
KNOCK KNOCK!!!...Who's there???... BANGED!!!... Banged who???... NOT ME!!!
"Buy me a beer?"
"I went back in time and banged your mum, I'm now your dad dude, so yeah, buy your old boy some beers motherfucker."
I'd only go Bio if he's totally hot and he helps me get some pussy.