Usually the people who need to smile the most are trying to make everyone else smile.

Twitter isn't about how many followers you have or how many tweets you post. Twitter is all about introducting everyone to your insanity.

If there was only one the direction in life, I would still be going the wrong way.

I think my Twitter followers killed my Facebook friends.

I will admit it. I follow people based on their avi. Who has time to read all that stuff.

One tweet is all it takes to corrupt the soul.

Whenever I walk in a room i always look for something I can use to climb up a wall. I'm a ninja like that...

It is easier to smile during the sunshine, but it means more during the rain.

I wish I could catch my twitter stalker in the act, but she is getting better.

I have a juice box. It is my juice box. Don't look at my juice box. It doesn't like to be looked at.

I'm so ninja sometimes, even I don't know what I'm doing...

I want to stay up late and sing badly to you.

Sometimes I forget to use my twitter voice on here.

The biggest step in any relationship is went you show the other person your twitter account...

I knew the first time I looked in your eyes that our love would grow into a restraining order.

There is a dead possum in the middle of the road by my kids house. The kids said his name is Bob and he left behind a wife and 8 kids.

I like to post tweets that look like they are replies to other people but really just don't make any sense.

You can't force someone to make the right decision, no matter how much you spank them...

If you want to survive another day, never tell a woman to calm down.

Desperately I long to feel your touch
But you left me all alone in love