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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 3,929
    • FAVS
    KellieLouise8BigRim79lulocateliCharlie_GrubucmachineJoiiiii_thisbryanbrownhdaniels_00
    • 3,160
    • RETWEETS
    BigRim79lulocateliCharlie_GrurikpaynethatnishantsuziqkelleyiGreenMonkShowUrDimples
    Walashdsstockejockhaolegurl808anjadrischNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronUpturnedBathtubloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartistshurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,322
    • FAVS
    steelstoneoilWhiskeyMeBabykorn_crueDionneMcNuttIniqueVirustxdivawannabemaddiesteinsfwheeler15
    • 2,032
    • RETWEETS
    Liberty_JunkieWhiskeyMeBabykorn_crueDionneMcNuttKellieLouise8txdivawannabeJoanneMuhiaJoabPudindinker
    bakedbrotatoesjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_HawkenanjadrischallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monster__chopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,809
    • FAVS
    SaveshTewariBigRim79HarrodLuthBlonde4DayzEtherealSkyKidTrillangle226Sims_was_hereMoistPork
    • 1,668
    • RETWEETS
    BigRim79Blonde4DayzbecccuuhhhPizzaMyDickEtherealSkyKidTrillangle226Sims_was_hereShowUrDimples
    alizmayBromanConsul__ClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryanincogeniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 2,833
    • FAVS
    ToomeyWrightDionneMcNuttKellieLouise8SolelyBBigRim79mylongrealitydougiedamienheidi_ugh
    • 1,591
    • RETWEETS
    Liberty_JunkieBigRim79unrelatednamesjustme_DebbiBoozieMcFloozyJimmerThatisAllejmichaels1Sims_was_here
    Sims_was_herekcMcCowgirlRobertMorschelIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsBangGangingjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,847
    • FAVS
    KellieLouise8txdivawannabeJidoka73SeaGreeneArtJohn26649305JaySusHChristmelbaumgartner1Sarcasmo718
    • 1,527
    • RETWEETS
    txdivawannabeJidoka73SeaGreeneArtBigRim79zapmyassnofancypantsannabella16dougvanderpool
    PetPinkElephantBromanConsul__jeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_Monster__ocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,396
    • FAVS
    Liberty_JunkieBigRim79ednotsowiseFamilyRamblingsJessyMary1984__NiceLittleWifeemily_a_kerrraginbull67
    • 1,438
    • RETWEETS
    Liberty_JunkieKellieLouise8BigRim79caseytduncanLawrenceKnowsitsmemistydawnraginbull67MoobTassles
    AmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,131
    • FAVS
    BigRim79PORNOPINIONCherrym_1982ericonederfulfinancechargeTweets_GoneWildCVTBabyaimlessamers
    • 1,571
    • RETWEETS
    KellieLouise8Tweets_GoneWildZerofeverMokanaLimitedeminixonKnightInGamerSirCasioKL7000Jjkinky49Jeff
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,305
    • FAVS
    BigRim79Tweets_GoneWildprotolaliaaimlessamerswildblondebombfusedudeEvileSkullEyeSeeYou619
    • 1,284
    • RETWEETS
    therealjayskiTracyJo_EvileSkullDeenietooStymieBrewer_rvchel_TheNewDomShowLuckoftheDraw86
    girl_in_my_boxiamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,138
    • FAVS
    SeaGreeneArtLivingEverywayBigRim79PORNOPINIONTweets_GoneWildaimlessamersKnightInGamerSirCasioKL7000
    • 1,329
    • RETWEETS
    SeaGreeneArtBigRim79fawmaster69SirCasioKL7000HollyHealsChansonInMyHairlove_my_2catsslyoung5
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,130
    • FAVS
    ivoryanathemaLiberty_JunkiePateurik1NRbabiesmommaToxicProbablySashaWithLuvqadir19KellieLouise8
    • 945
    • RETWEETS
    Preethi_K164jabtakhaipaanYelaBeastDnaughtywriter2ScarsFourEyesFlexsteelrodutmost_failuresamgiffford
    anjadrischa_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackdefnotscott__KampSinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,877
    • FAVS
    chrisgaynerBigRim79silent_musingsJ_Illunninatitakemeback2OZEddieMcSugarnutLizPants426ambekillinem
    • 1,185
    • RETWEETS
    BigRim79takemeback2OZdjmillhouseambekillinemNaked_WombatTheOneTrueDiscomigaelaldridgeIfIWereMagneto
    lakeanagirlslyoung5Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1rzaroscoVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__mikecerchiari
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,757
    • FAVS
    EdLabineWellerMitchfunny_bone80Bobby_Flecktwocrazybunniessteelcityfan278the_wolf_mansLivingEveryway
    • 1,127
    • RETWEETS
    steelcityfan278BigRim79BravesB_ksnetzharvestpawBMRoysttullyframekellisimeon
    googleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,675
    • FAVS
    PerfectPendingygprydHeyZeus666ToomeyWrightallfemellaSatangeloojennigrl22mommadrool
    • 1,166
    • RETWEETS
    PerfectPendingheyjannn69elvio69Liberty_JunkieAshi_CmommadroolEBiggumsArielleDineen
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellacopterAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,595
    • FAVS
    TheChaseNightGargSachinroligaurvashistckpoisonedroseOrvllShrednbchrairpig68chang3th3starsMikeUher
    • 1,107
    • RETWEETS
    wordamourlarryagrosspeter_vascdivakarunisteelstoneoilairpig68MikeUhercalluptome
    Liberty_JunkieCherishMeJust_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_DaddybestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,810
    • FAVS
    KellieLouise84bodingaimlessamersKnightInGamergetyourownavi__MsKaiyaRaynedeceased2045SophieNicolai16
    • 568
    • RETWEETS
    flipthistweetgetyourownavi__rosegalv7iGreenMonkHollyHealsKMk4KickskcMcCowgirlJonnyKooler
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaidMaxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,553
    • FAVS
    aimlessamers14NunnZerofeverMsKaiyaRayneTheSpekkHollyHealsSleazySlidavid_tull
    • 785
    • RETWEETS
    ZerofeverTheSpekkHollyHealsBadGrahammarNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbit
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,670
    • FAVS
    SarcasticsapienchrisgaynerCruelMeigaMidgetsparberger2323shegotagronkjokebo_terrorsAshlieJere
    • 633
    • RETWEETS
    KellieLouise8berger2323RockAngel8907iheartguntsA_Bike_GuyMarkOnThePlanetSnarferniniOhgoddessitsme
    PORNOPINIONMike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,599
    • FAVS
    WICKEDTRUTH01KellieLouise8aimlessamerseminixonKnightInGamerGrnjellogroovyspecssehrsprachig
    • 602
    • RETWEETS
    CherishMeWICKEDTRUTH01fawmaster69KnightInGamerGrnjello_FiercePrincessblacman_ruledavidwaynie
    kellyskellykissmeimkinkyBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,249
    • FAVS
    iGreenMonkemery_kayeTim_HawkenHollyHealsSleazySlidavid_tullkcMcCowgirlNolaChef504
    • 951
    • RETWEETS
    HollyHealskcMcCowgirlJonnyKoolerdthur3232fridaycandyzero3_benzVenusRockHobbitSihophone
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikecanrant
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,397
    • FAVS
    DionneMcNuttEBiggumsWICKEDTRUTH01Lis18MKHridiculous_kyleLADYxRARAHollyHealsSleazySli
    • 681
    • RETWEETS
    EBiggumsWICKEDTRUTH01HollyHealsaabywgNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbit
    DaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyZdiddy19STOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder