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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 4,171
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTPankajK86Kris_GaleanoninatreemonkeyrkstottsArielPillitteriVol_llljacksparrowsdad
    • 3,290
    • RETWEETS
    NgakaLSJustFollownRTcalashnicBinkyThePhoenixPankajK86katmac559HysteriaBarbie_totalhack
    Home_HalfwaylawyerthoughtsWalashdsstockejockhaolegurl808astrobudsterNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronUpturnedBathtubloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartistshurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,467
    • FAVS
    patricphdmomupsidedownDawn_M_annamadePoiznSongbirdetoilelointainecarlyme23spiraled_away
    • 2,127
    • RETWEETS
    momupsidedownPoiznSongbirdetoilelointainetheBooklover2akifahsanspiraled_awayzTequilademoncerveza_y_tacos
    bakedbrotatoesjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_HawkenastrobudsterallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monster__chopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,876
    • FAVS
    Darling_CaitlinJustFollownRTcookiegirl420KelzcloudsCaptnCrashkillthegreatssenorlumpysimoncholland
    • 1,716
    • RETWEETS
    Darling_CaitlinJustFollownRToddest_toddlerBrittMegannnmmjbillboardKelzcloudsNotDominiquesenorlumpy
    alizmayBromanConsulClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryaninco__geniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 2,894
    • FAVS
    patricphdJM4NN13momupsidedownDawn_M_annamadePoiznSongbirdtexasstalkermomBilliaMarie87
    • 1,639
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTmomupsidedownPoiznSongbird2012_BABE12carlyme23spiraled_awayzTequilademonsolo1414
    momupsidedownSims_was_herekcMcCowgirlRobertMorschelIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsfullydeliriousjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,890
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTDawn_M_elmoscaresmeStacieintheSTLPoiznSongbirdkrishna_vanabsenthandedMaxwellSnark
    • 1,551
    • RETWEETS
    Robbi123PoiznSongbirdemconstancekatiexwright_katelynicolekrishna_vanConFuseUs_TodayOneFunnyMummy
    LurkAtHomeMomPetPinkElephantBromanConsuljeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_Monster__ocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,641
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTblondecoffeePoiznSongbirdAdorbleDisasterjeffswarensAmyAmyAmyRuthretweetingfoollmm2g2
    • 1,602
    • RETWEETS
    Val_MarchiniJustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdprizfazAmyAmyAmyRuthConFuseUs_TodayOneFunnyMummyLovesLAandDogs
    RandomManikAmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,179
    • FAVS
    Dawn_M_PoiznSongbirdcarlyme23AriminthSouthernLivNBeautyFull_BlogheydollkellyChicBeauty_
    • 1,617
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdVickiVSartinmom_onthe_edgesususubieAlmostSenselesssopermamaheydollkellyConFuseUs_Today
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,393
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdaudrimoonthecatassholedanielle_0827LeeEricsonspiraled_away
    • 1,341
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTdanielle_0827spiraled_awayvtrapp11s0m4htoomuchaubreyA_gligsemilysteen
    girl_in_my_boxiamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,168
    • FAVS
    Dawn_M_annamadePoiznSongbirdFaux_Mamccoll_kristaHenry_3kLovesLAandDogsConFuseUs_Today
    • 1,349
    • RETWEETS
    SpaceyMacey_annamadePoiznSongbirdLovesLAandDogswishfullyrealOneFunnyMummydinkxxxxafricanstormz
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,173
    • FAVS
    hawaiiwriterspace_baby_memphismike71StevenBoothicusJustFollownRTbelkertmomupsidedownThesinglemombom
    • 970
    • RETWEETS
    memphismike71MAST3ER_TIMMYJustFollownRTmomupsidedownThe_J_Teamjanna_facekasaudaShettyONTHErun
    astrobudstera_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackdefnotscottKampSinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,904
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTDawn_M_annamadePoiznSongbirdBrianIncognitospiraled_awayOneFunnyMummykrishna_van
    • 1,200
    • RETWEETS
    annamadePoiznSongbirdspiraled_awayWheelTodjeffreyr77bookekegle15rosemar09250752joross238
    lakeanagirlslyoung5Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1rzaroscoVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__mikecerchiari
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,832
    • FAVS
    memphismike71charliecliquesStevenBoothicusJustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdkelseyvail666BurbidgeJames
    • 1,164
    • RETWEETS
    memphismike71Val_MarchiniJustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdvmiller43all_about_todayDW_BoucherRSF788
    hamspamtymaamgoogleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,726
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTKeenCoderDawn_M_annamadePoiznSongbirdtexasstalkermomellowsancarlyme23
    • 1,233
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTannamadePoiznSongbirdmzkgecarlyme23LaurenMulrineConFuseUs_Todaysak5457
    Liberty_JunkieCherishMeJust_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_Daddy__bestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,732
    • FAVS
    Jsas1025JustFollownRTRobbi123PoiznSongbirdcarlyme23Bounse44LeeEricsonTrulyThomas2
    • 1,194
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdTrulyThomas2PaulSeatonlmm2g22LiquorsQuickerConFuseUs_Todaylynnegwilym
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellacopterAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,836
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdShhh_aybrookejenacarlyme23BrianIncognitospiraled_away
    • 576
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdcarlyme23spiraled_awayMarlebeanzTequilademonrumncoke_HorribleDancerjngraphs
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaid__Maxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,592
    • FAVS
    danielle_0827Dawn_M_PoiznSongbirdaudrimoonOrangeNinjaJewAlongCameAnjamuse_me_againThatBrenna
    • 813
    • RETWEETS
    danielle_0827SamePageDifDayPoiznSongbirdOrangeNinjaJewAlongCameAnjamuse_me_againjjax44_xxorcist
    theDanLawlerkDuncanGDaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyJay__ZimSTOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,568
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdOneFunnyMummyserialmatrixnovicefatherastrobudsterWheelTod
    • 785
    • RETWEETS
    ZerofeverTheSpekkHollyHealsBadGrahammarNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbit
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,699
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdabsenthandedOneFunnyMummyKyStevoPS_IRuddYoutheDanLawler
    • 645
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdKyStevoPS_IRuddYouFunniestEverPeterClayton6OLDIRTYDIAPERWheelTod
    PORNOPINIONMike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,627
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdbLIZard523drpjwillMarlebeanOneFunnyMummykDuncanGamandajpanda
    • 613
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdConFuseUs_TodayOneFunnyMummyzTequilademonstealingsandRoxyPersiaastrobudsterT_Shams23
    kellyskellykissmeimkinkyBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,263
    • FAVS
    JustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdcarlyme23OneFunnyMummyFunniestEverkDuncanGahsany2kFaerieGlamour
    • 955
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdFunniestEverMarlebeanzTequilademonHollyHealskcMcCowgirlJonnyKoolerdthur3232
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikeCanRant
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder