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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 4,261
    • FAVS
    gefiltecatOutOnTheMoorscooke_barryjorgovangarciaKMcN62TruthSeeker1947Patriot_ZeroSeaGlass4Nicole
    • 3,345
    • RETWEETS
    OutOnTheMoorsGeeSleezytrevbobbeanmartin58115842jedditelolTruthSeeker1947Patriot_ZeroNotPeterStark
    Home_HalfwaylawyerthoughtsWalashdsstockejockhaolegurl808Thrill_TweeterNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronUpturnedBathtubloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartistshurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,574
    • FAVS
    ZiggyandthebeanOutOnTheMoorscarsooonpeterswicce_podgerhizomelifeHow_Hardysofieoktwilper
    • 2,190
    • RETWEETS
    OutOnTheMoorsameyorontpr2OSUMJ08SSourblondieLaura_Peppjoeljeffreyhealingmuse
    peeznutsjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_HawkenThrill_TweeterallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monster__chopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 3,064
    • FAVS
    Livewire3791ericaj1721wicce_podgeabstract_wonderLaFeaDelBaileEnClaveDSolChristianPlanteMamaFlores
    • 1,740
    • RETWEETS
    Livewire3791ericaj1721shot_of_flairVicFuturewicce_podgeEnClaveDSolrockinronnie78VonBodungen
    iwearaonesiemomupsidedownSims_was_herekcMcCowgirlgerryhatricIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsfullydeliriousjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,941
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeEnClaveDSolNotPeterStarkJimboleemForKevinSakeDaphneDoo_ninespike69yesterdaygirly
    • 1,755
    • RETWEETS
    EnClaveDSolNotPeterStarkjumpdasharkninespike69yesterdaygirlyperchicoreeTheDudesAbidingRohitKohli236
    alizmayBromanConsulClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryaninco__geniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,960
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeJoSusanGullettAphroditesTrapbongripsandtitsclitfingerLerbsyCherbsperchicoreeDanorSlim
    • 1,593
    • RETWEETS
    AphroditesTrapJohnnyBeGooodddperchicoreestephaniexoxovRachelnoiseOSUMJ08Boomz1989KendallLewis321
    LurkAtHomeMomPetPinkElephantBromanConsuljeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_Monster__ocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,795
    • FAVS
    mjlopemanOutOnTheMoorswicce_podgemiss_foofoobaliska2HabbibtiCatatonicEmudec_08
    • 1,722
    • RETWEETS
    OutOnTheMoorsbaliska2HabbibtiCatatonicEmudec_08EnClaveDSoladreamhomenjFraMe
    RandomManikAmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,487
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeJoSusanGullettbongripsandtitsRandy_VTECBaxterbixMicheleMMusicNotPeterStarkkrishna_van
    • 1,394
    • RETWEETS
    JohnnyBeGooodddRandy_VTECBaxterbixMicheleMMusicNotPeterStarkShutUpThatsWhokrishna_vanBrecAmended
    Thrill_Tweetergirl_in_my_boxiamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,209
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeLucyfiddEnClaveDSolNotPeterStarkJimboleemForKevinSakeDaphneDoo_SeaGlass4Nicole
    • 1,635
    • RETWEETS
    AGATHA_ALABAMAEnClaveDSolNotPeterStarkSeaGlass4Nicolekira_finnellcrazyjet379jumpdasharkTheDudesAbiding
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,212
    • FAVS
    EnClaveDSolNotPeterStarkJimboleemForKevinSakeSeaGlass4NicoleJDoody523TheDudesAbidingShutUpThatsWho
    • 1,379
    • RETWEETS
    EnClaveDSolBhura_AadmiNotPeterStarkjumpdasharkmilk7juiceFrankLWrong13mrsacsylvdoriowen
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,945
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeJohnnyBeGooodddallthingssniceonume_ericabagumaKonradnyedana_irishBossyBritches72
    • 1,406
    • RETWEETS
    edana_irishmerenlanInvestorDoc__NotPeterStarkGenevieve0404rclaytona84Backeshousesnd7439
    DumbConfessionsHiddleDeeDeeLiberty_JunkieCherishMeJust_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_DaddybestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,982
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgelisalockets69EnClaveDSolMamaFloresbonesay1988JonBakeratibamanii123bombsydoll
    • 1,247
    • RETWEETS
    ShutUpThatsWhobonesay1988noelledeeedougwtSoumaYukihiraStellar190JonBakerDawn_M_
    lakeanagirlslyoung5Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1Karate_HorseVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__mikecerchiari
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,219
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeBrianIncognitoInvestorDoc___freebird99_beefman138NotPeterStarkJimboleemForKevinSake
    • 999
    • RETWEETS
    AGATHA_ALABAMAEnClaveDSol96bhhInvestorDoc__beefman138NotPeterStarkjumpdasharkpaulablu22
    Thrill_Tweetera_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackdefnotscottkampsinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,904
    • FAVS
    DSLikesItKemie_08purch_svickstick05DrWhoFiendFueledByGuacfreestyle56wicce_podge
    • 1,293
    • RETWEETS
    vickstick05waferrollzFueledByGuacThrill_TweeterRohitKohli236NotPeterStarkHenriSeraphinibeefman138
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellacopterAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,915
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeMamaFlores305miami6924BossyBritches72deckerme19766strings402MoltoPensierosoNotPeterStark
    • 1,209
    • RETWEETS
    AmyAmybon79NuffieeeMoltoPensierosoInvestorDoc__NotPeterStarkamanda_catttbrocktonguyAnonymous1040
    hamspamtymaamgoogleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,940
    • FAVS
    LMills_MamaFloresalex_torres007RohitKohli236pattirbaileyNotPeterStarkJimboleemForKevinSake
    • 628
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236NotPeterStarkladyjazsjunkevanecclestoneMegMooreOConnorHousewifeOfHelljumpdasharkShutUpThatsWho
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaid__Maxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,623
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeShutUpThatsWhoalex_torres007RohitKohli236NotPeterStarkJimboleemBLG216zombiedad
    • 836
    • RETWEETS
    AGATHA_ALABAMAEnClaveDSolmr_tredhiadreadheadmonkRohitKohli236NotPeterStark2precious4worldHousewifeOfHell
    theDanLawlerkDuncanGDaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyJay__ZimSTOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,754
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeHubertsTaraalex_torres007TheSuzieHunterRohitKohli236ericabagumaBossyBritches72InvestorDoc__
    • 675
    • RETWEETS
    HubertsTaraRohitKohli236luvmyhubTwyztedChyckInvestorDoc__NotPeterStarkHousewifeOfHelldan_jugz
    PORNOPINIONMike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,586
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgealex_torres007ChloestyloRohitKohli236ArielCTaylorRosina_vluvmyhubMikeMcNeil_
    • 791
    • RETWEETS
    mr_tredhiaRohitKohli236luvmyhubNotPeterStarkjumpdasharkpaulablu22ZerofeverSoGhostLike
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,652
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeCammille26alex_torres007RohitKohli236judith00639098KatieCastigsMikeMcNeil_BeckyLynne38
    • 621
    • RETWEETS
    HarbingerAFCRohitKohli236NotPeterStarkladyjazsjunkskullpuppy11jumpdasharkrachcampbellxxxpaulablu22
    kellyskellykissmeimkinkyBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,291
    • FAVS
    wicce_podgeMarijoenfield66redherringbearalex_torres007RohitKohli236NotPeterStarkJimboleemForKevinSake
    • 972
    • RETWEETS
    Marijoenfield66JohnnyBeGooodddnaquiahmedvichupediaHarbingerAFCRohitKohli236TwyztedChyckNotPeterStark
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikeCanRant
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder