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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 4,207
    • FAVS
    momupsidedownAdamsWallpapersLordLoickIAmKashWahAB_OwlMrsForeverAlwaytrevallen81KAREN698
    • 3,310
    • RETWEETS
    momupsidedownxzofiaatamzinIAmKashWahAB_OwlblondecalamityFreemay2323chloerochdaleCOLTOND80878406
    Home_HalfwaylawyerthoughtsWalashdsstockejockhaolegurl808anja_drischNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronUpturnedBathtubloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartistshurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,477
    • FAVS
    dmc1138tkcoltsfanLaniBenogefiltecatbourgeoisalienHiddleDeeDeesimonchollandphaks_nhlumayo
    • 2,130
    • RETWEETS
    LaniBenobourgeoisalienHiddleDeeDeemomupsidedownPoiznSongbirdetoilelointainetheBooklover2akifahsan
    bakedbrotatoesjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_Hawkenanja_drischallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monster__chopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,916
    • FAVS
    MrsForeverAlwayCausticMardockhavocownerAvezVousPeurDexICircuswithyourfingersMrsChinNutZMaverickGames
    • 1,740
    • RETWEETS
    havocownerAvezVousPeurDeCOLTOND80878406withyourfingersBeat_Sheetkorn_cruetkcoltsfandesponder
    alizmayBromanConsulClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryaninco__geniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 2,934
    • FAVS
    PuddingBoobsventivodkacranlanceratheartZwolf666Randy_Stradleybombfunk75IAmKashWahFredHayman9
    • 1,656
    • RETWEETS
    jerynsnowthebencarlsonbombfunk75IAmKashWahFredHayman9blondecalamityronpalm44COLTOND80878406
    momupsidedownSims_was_herekcMcCowgirlRobertMorschelIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsfullydeliriousjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,905
    • FAVS
    MrsForeverAlwayemptylotLittleJimmy6179_morrismike29401COLTOND80878406Seitz41Vongoody
    • 1,555
    • RETWEETS
    blondecalamity79_morrisBeat_SheetsimonchollandRobbi123PoiznSongbirdemconstancekatiexwright
    LurkAtHomeMomPetPinkElephantBromanConsuljeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_Monster__ocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,705
    • FAVS
    Emperor_TeslaBlarebareFredHayman9MrsForeverAlwayRadioNicholeKAREN698havocownerCOLTOND80878406
    • 1,669
    • RETWEETS
    msdianasoreFredHayman9blondecalamityDplightPetehavocownerBeat_SheetPSagenlordofthedeli
    RandomManikAmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,183
    • FAVS
    BrianIncognitokorn_crueKatieBurnettCatherineinALDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdcarlyme23Ariminth
    • 1,619
    • RETWEETS
    TheNakedWombatkorn_cruePoiznSongbirdVickiVSartinon_the_edge_111sususubieAlmostSenselesssopermama
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,405
    • FAVS
    IAmKashWahnightofthezedkorn_crueVongoodyMommaUnfilteredMsMurfieMikeMcNeil_scrirc
    • 1,344
    • RETWEETS
    korn_cruesimonchollandPattylovesyou47JustFollownRTdanielle_0827spiraled_awayvtrapp11s0m4h
    girl_in_my_boxiamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,186
    • FAVS
    PuddingBoobsIAmKashWahTheGhostofMaratbrainscabsvalzhoganrainbowcarrots9awesomesleaderTbayleaf
    • 1,357
    • RETWEETS
    blondecalamityotakugirl01im_the_st_jimmy_xoxomacy_akosiblomeyRockinRocknRowlRising_ApeGingerGander
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,206
    • FAVS
    Caro64641IAmKashWahblondecalamityis_ajhavocownerkorn_cruekawaii_kakkoiiEkThaDodo
    • 991
    • RETWEETS
    blondecalamityamitagrawalgnluDplightPeteBeat_Sheetkorn_cruedisha_meeshtifilmthugSenaMcCarthy
    anja_drischa_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackdefnotscottKampSinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,834
    • FAVS
    VJ1969tiemespankmeBiggershooterMakesYouGiggleyourbffsmom1r2nsLunaTattooedMiseryJustinTwoCups
    • 1,329
    • RETWEETS
    tiemespankmeretiredbaeLeon_RagnarBiggershooterkorie_wishartChris_Kraner_sweet_hamiGreenMonk
    HiddleDeeDeeLiberty_JunkieCherishMeJust_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_DaddybestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,935
    • FAVS
    BlarebareFredHayman9blondecalamitysuka_renangshopkins776havocownerthebossofitalltishajeff
    • 1,221
    • RETWEETS
    blondecalamityshopkins776havocownerBeat_SheetsjoecablewwdismeANAZTHMAmiastayganked_
    lakeanagirlslyoung5Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1rzaroscoVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__mikecerchiari
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,848
    • FAVS
    suka_renangTaitBrownamauger01Seitz41havocownershopkins776scfsayshippocroteez
    • 1,168
    • RETWEETS
    ErinHSchultzamstarbuxgalhavocownershopkins776Beat_Sheetvisceral71lucy_nyholm123CatherineinAL
    hamspamtymaamgoogleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,769
    • FAVS
    IAmKashWahsuka_renangsluttybraTaitBrownKayLudlowRadioNicholesergiolugoiamnotchjohnson
    • 1,212
    • RETWEETS
    IAmKashWahBElNGASAN0CEANDidi_OsergiolugoamstarbuxgalJasonsocoollikehavocownerBeat_Sheet
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellacopterAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,891
    • FAVS
    suka_renangis_ajRadioNicholered_pill_meSpiritOwl4PeaceLittleJimmy61mullen11mikeGupton68
    • 604
    • RETWEETS
    is_ajBeat_SheetOddest_Goddessanthony_ruddveroderugyKimBru49darrrkstarrrKristiColleen
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaid__Maxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,597
    • FAVS
    tigurrdollywhackertweetlooseKatieBurnettCatherineinALdanielle_0827Dawn_M_PoiznSongbird
    • 813
    • RETWEETS
    danielle_0827SamePageDifDayPoiznSongbirdOrangeNinjaJewAlongCameAnjamuse_me_againjjax44_xxorcist
    theDanLawlerkDuncanGDaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyJay__ZimSTOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,570
    • FAVS
    IAmKashWahCatherineinALJustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdOneFunnyMummyserialmatrixnovicefather
    • 785
    • RETWEETS
    ZerofeverTheSpekkHollyHealsBadGrahammarNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbit
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,701
    • FAVS
    IAmKashWahCatherineinALJustFollownRTDawn_M_PoiznSongbirdabsenthandedOneFunnyMummyKyStevo
    • 645
    • RETWEETS
    JustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdKyStevoPS_IRuddYouFunniestEverPeterClayton6OLDIRTYDIAPERWheelTod
    PORNOPINIONMike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,630
    • FAVS
    IAmKashWahHiddleDeeDeeCatherineinALJustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdbLIZard523drpjwillMarlebean
    • 613
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdConFuseUs_TodayOneFunnyMummyzTequilademonstealingsandRoxyPersiaanja_drischT_Shams23
    kellyskellykissmeimkinkyBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,265
    • FAVS
    IAmKashWahCatherineinALJustFollownRTPoiznSongbirdcarlyme23OneFunnyMummyFunniestEverkDuncanG
    • 955
    • RETWEETS
    PoiznSongbirdFunniestEverMarlebeanzTequilademonHollyHealskcMcCowgirlJonnyKoolerdthur3232
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikeCanRant
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder