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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 3,814
    • FAVS
    clitfingersuzyz40kcMcCowgirlcloudypianosJonnyKooleronelongbenderSternoShotszero3_benz
    • 3,091
    • RETWEETS
    suzyz40kcMcCowgirlJonnyKoolerSternoShotszero3_benzGoodMistakes56suzieQ0007Torriable
    haolegurl808anjadrischNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronUpturnedBathtubloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartistshurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,190
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlMAWmaggianosNolaChef504cloudypianosJonnyKoolerSternoShotsKingray1stnotpornprobably
    • 1,920
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlMAWmaggianosNolaChef504JonnyKoolerSternoShotszero3_benzGoodMistakes56CherishMe
    bakedbrotatoesjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_HawkenanjadrischallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monster__chopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,711
    • FAVS
    tipseybartenderclitfingerSSourblondiekcMcCowgirlTweets_GoneWildcloudypianosJonnyKoolerSternoShots
    • 1,596
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirl69shadesoftaarTweets_GoneWildJonnyKoolerLisaEireneSternoShotsnbkheyheyVenusRockHobbit
    alizmayBromanConsulClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryanincogeniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 2,755
    • FAVS
    ToxicProbablyJack_JJ_JordanLaniBenosneakinsuzyz40latte_dramakcMcCowgirlTweets_GoneWild
    • 1,543
    • RETWEETS
    Red__RoverLaniBenoDiamondLou69ak2webd3sneakinkcMcCowgirlTweets_GoneWildMiz_Mental_Case
    kcMcCowgirlRobertMorschelIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsBangGangingjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,771
    • FAVS
    _TheGoodsstarlbludworthkcMcCowgirlBonJovi32NolaChef504JonnyKoolercloudypianosonelongbender
    • 1,490
    • RETWEETS
    _TheGoodsskcMcCowgirlsurlyhobbitBonJovi32NolaChef504JonnyKoolerCathyGellisSternoShots
    BromanConsuljeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_Monster__ocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,320
    • FAVS
    sailormoonie135WahtThakcMcCowgirlDavidRayDogkimberlybryantTweets_GoneWildknownAsDickJohnWL1990
    • 1,387
    • RETWEETS
    JohnWL1990JustinBellavitaAskBellaWagnersailormoonie135kcMcCowgirlkimberlybryantTweets_GoneWildknownAsDick
    AmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,108
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlPurple_whippedNolaChef504JonnyKoolercloudypianosGoodMistakes56CherishMeBeardRobinson
    • 1,559
    • RETWEETS
    NolaChef504JonnyKoolerGoodMistakes56VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHidotlettyMiz_Mental_Casedeviantstranger
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,250
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlUGANDANCRAZYDaniLynn1024AmberIsDownBigBang6000Ctchandler247lacrossemom5Squeeb_Slayer
    • 1,255
    • RETWEETS
    IdentiifiiedUGANDANCRAZYAmberIsDownCtchandler247SophieCorderyBounceBeerBeark8ieokayresidualimage
    iamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,115
    • FAVS
    sneakinkcMcCowgirlbilgewaterjonesLoveNLunchmeatRafflesWordaliboodawnLauraLikesWineNolaChef504
    • 1,316
    • RETWEETS
    sneakinkcMcCowgirlaliboodawnChristinaDabitAnna_20_LJonnyKoolerADumbFlowerscloudypianos
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,077
    • FAVS
    eroxorejoannas_lifejasonmfrancisLilbyrdyoutrrracheouskcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKooler
    • 918
    • RETWEETS
    joannas_lifejasonmfrancisoutrrracheouskcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolerLifeStrickenSuper_Cynthia
    anjadrischa_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackdefnotscottKampSinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,793
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzGoodMistakes56Super_CynthiaCherishMekevin_bollinger
    • 1,131
    • RETWEETS
    NolaChef504JonnyKoolerVenusRockHobbitPantherlilykatkellyskellyWICKEDTRUTH01HuajatollaChiclittlekitnerboy
    Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1rzaroscoVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__mikecerchiari
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,660
    • FAVS
    BurntMayonnaiseaaronupcomedyofkateprettysadmostlybingkirdcb00784DirectingTitanJake_Vig
    • 1,073
    • RETWEETS
    GooodGirlsGoBadBurntMayonnaiseBmacn88TubaQuinnyjfreeboocomedyofkatemeg_with_an_hcb00784
    googleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,534
    • FAVS
    LilbyrdySusanandTrixieoutrrracheousFukbeinSoberkcMcCowgirlJimbauxsJournalNolaChef504JonnyKooler
    • 1,081
    • RETWEETS
    DunnoneloutrrracheousVegasRenegadekcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzGoodMistakes56
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellacopterAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,524
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlnedajsebilgewaterjonesuncanyourliefPugnaciousJonesLotzapeopleDoItWithWoodsebastianswords
    • 1,058
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlPRAY_LOVE_FITSimkoPaulLotzapeopletegthethirdtonywoodliefNolaChef504Ellani_Belle
    Just_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_DaddybestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,795
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolercloudypianoszero3_benzGoodMistakes56VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHi
    • 563
    • RETWEETS
    KMk4KickskcMcCowgirlJonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbitSpankMeIm0tymorecowbell101missekay
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaidMaxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,545
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlSamiNichole22BadGrahammarNolaChef504JonnyKoolercloudypianoszero3_benzGoodMistakes56
    • 782
    • RETWEETS
    BadGrahammarNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbitEliasfarrajdanielle_0827FahadALware
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,631
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolercloudypianoszero3_benzDreamExplosiveGoodMistakes56SarahKobrosly1
    • 610
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolerGoodMistakes56bombykol2poizngrlKMk4Kickssamthewarden
    Mike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,243
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolercranesmakerdthur3232fridaycandyzero3_benzGoodMistakes56
    • 950
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlJonnyKoolerdthur3232fridaycandyzero3_benzVenusRockHobbitSihophonepatootie76
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikecanrant
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,583
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirlJimbauxsJournalNolaChef504JonnyKoolerGoodMistakes56Super_Cynthiakevin_bollingerVenusRockHobbit
    • 592
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlNolaChef504JonnyKoolerVenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHicigarexecSpankMeIm0tyThe_GetawayGirl
    kellyskellykissmeimkinkyBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,388
    • FAVS
    NolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzGoodMistakes56VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHiMike__Leefingerbangs
    • 678
    • RETWEETS
    aabywgNolaChef504JonnyKoolerzero3_benzVenusRockHobbitMike__LeeSuzanneMadeawickedimproper
    DaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyZdiddy19STOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder