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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 3,802
    • FAVS
    tarlbludworthVenusRockHobbitToujoursJacquesbees_wingzDannyValle6ink_botashleygrace96ROCKInTheUSSA
    • 3,083
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitmaps_hoyosarahkathryn_222CynicAl65bossyhoneybeeSoftSableharrylighterchemicalkisses
    haolegurl808anjadrischNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronActingAnEejitloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartistshurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,174
    • FAVS
    StarryeyedxoFrakkingAwesomeTownesYulandattoyotaman1988SleazySliweb_supergirldru0887ODeadInside
    • 1,912
    • RETWEETS
    CapeTownBlondesquirrel74wkgnVenusRockHobbitTownesYulandattoyotaman1988MindyblahblahAskkMeAgainVeron_Duarte
    bakedbrotatoesjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_HawkenanjadrischallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monsterchopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,700
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbittracestyleHeyZeus666crazy_idiot666valzhoganSarcasticsapienLiisaTSLeightonSaysHi
    • 1,589
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitNRbabiesmommacrazy_idiot666jkerichekollinsayzonume_LeightonSaysHiashleyalli1
    alizmayBromanConsulClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryanincogeniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 2,738
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitLoveLesss00crazy_idiot666ToujoursJacquesMouthyMessBitch_Killa23uHilomhbuffalogoober
    • 1,534
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitNRbabiesmommacrazy_idiot666happygerbalVallygurl22buffalogooberRandyReDebontheweb12
    RobertMorschelIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsBangGangingjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,760
    • FAVS
    SeafoamAbigailBeardRobinsonSarcasticsapienLeightonSaysHiSkinnieTallsTahoeBoymadeezythebeezySassieStacie55
    • 1,482
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHiBonniebell210cookiesnweedtylersorrellsCommonSavantLisaMcAlister1__ItsMattSpicy
    BromanConsuljeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_MonsterocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,101
    • FAVS
    BeardRobinsonVenusRockHobbitSarcasticsapienLeightonSaysHiMike__LeeMikecanrantvalzhoganrndhouse
    • 1,556
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHidotlettyMiz_Mental_CasedeviantstrangerSpankMeIm0tyuusmmaannNicoleEsselink
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,241
    • FAVS
    LoveNLunchmeatSilkySavageshekissesfrogspauluser5555nato12939trumpetcakeAnAverageGiantspeknyc
    • 1,322
    • RETWEETS
    SacrificialLionnato12939butaQiiispeknyctwosugarscreamandwhatamomplay_gurl69NermalTheHun
    AmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,221
    • FAVS
    BeardRobinsonVenusRockHobbitTheLastVirgodell0717LorieGZblanco_basuraLeightonSaysHiSchtickzinger
    • 1,229
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitdell0717LeightonSaysHiSchtickzingerKikiMoniqueLiterotica_comcsmith5050mdpakratt
    iamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,085
    • FAVS
    EllequenceVenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHiMike__LeeLoweryBenAZMikeyDalramirezUSASapphireBel
    • 1,302
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHialramirezUSAAZMikeyDfuzzlimeSpankMeIm0tyuusmmaannamycook1939
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,063
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnoutatownstrangecelestinelea90VenusRockHobbitSarcasticsapienLeightonSaysHiMike__LeeIrvinUrb
    • 910
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitSpankMeIm0tyCursitivitysuperdadatronaceKrillkwirkyKerriThePoohzle________ShutUpThatsWho
    anjadrischa_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackScotticlesKampSinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,786
    • FAVS
    kevin_bollingercelestinelea90VenusRockHobbitSarcasticsapienLeightonSaysHituffhawlSusanDanzig219JettBisque
    • 1,129
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitPantherlilykatkellyskellyWICKEDTRUTH01HuajatollaChiclittlekitnerboyutmost_failure1evilidiot
    Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1rzaroscoVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__terrific_mike
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,594
    • FAVS
    kayuhnjayuhnONECHATTYBIRDzramsayuccjebLoveNLunchmeatWriterCCBowenvlowgoesBadRich99
    • 1,028
    • RETWEETS
    therealJerColelildawnskizramsayBadRich99SteveLong71karbripal3JSLauderdaleKutzSam
    googleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,521
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitRaulJustinianoLorieGZSarcasticsapienLeightonSaysHicigarexecMike__Leejessamie14
    • 1,073
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitcigarexecMikeCarpenter5retepgerndvbbsnicaventuraaQueSeraSaraahhGladdyBear
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellaRtwotAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,503
    • FAVS
    squirrel74wkgnVenusRockHobbitLorieGZMr_L_Kingbees_wingzmajimaji_pg_hollandCwmDumpster
    • 1,044
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitMeli_NaidoofrozentiljlyasrodneythecuznedCwmDumpstereluna333SoulYodeler
    Just_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_DaddybestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,789
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHiMike__LeeSapphireBelSpankMeIm0tymoose_chocolateCommonSavantmorecowbell101
    • 559
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitSpankMeIm0tymorecowbell101missekayattheUCJohneicholz1shashaintlSoWeirditsCool
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaidMaxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,536
    • FAVS
    SeafoamAbigailVenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHidanielle_0827jeffswarensMike__LeeAliffArshadSDPlissken1
    • 778
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitEliasfarrajdanielle_0827FahadALwaremikefofficialMiz_Mental_CaseSassyKjuanhythemafia
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,621
    • FAVS
    118_chazLeightonSaysHiabby_the_asiandanarrheaHow_HardyaspenwoodsxxstillthemeuknowLiveInGramma
    • 604
    • RETWEETS
    KMk4KickssamthewardenfuzzlimeHow_HardystillthemeuknowanjadrischMike__LeeLil_Misss_L
    Mike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,236
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHiSapphireBelSihophonerndhousebrianbowman73SpankMeIm0tyattheUC
    • 945
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitSihophonepatootie76SpankMeIm0tyattheUCJay_FrickinLynnpeedinyourtub____tequilasaltlife
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikecanrant
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,577
    • FAVS
    kevin_bollingerVenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHicigarexecSapphireBelSihophonerndhousedefendit
    • 589
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHicigarexecSpankMeIm0tyThe_GetawayGirlBaconPotPieIncredibleDooshJamesonN7
    kellyskellytiffinysawyersBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,384
    • FAVS
    VenusRockHobbitLeightonSaysHiMike__LeefingerbangsSapphireBelSuzanneMadeawickedimproperSpankMeIm0ty
    • 674
    • RETWEETS
    VenusRockHobbitMike__LeeSuzanneMadeawickedimproperdefenditSpankMeIm0tyuusmmaannattheUC
    DaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyZdiddy19STOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder