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  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Sometimes I'll send a tweet, notice a typo in it, delete it, re-send it, notice a different typo, unplug computer, change my name and move.

    • 4,248
    • FAVS
    beautifuldayyyperchicoreebombsydollTheDudesAbidingappallinglyavgclean_not_soberShutUpThatsWhostevisteviw
    • 3,335
    • RETWEETS
    perchicoreebombsydollTheDudesAbidingappallinglyavgstevisteviwRohitKohli236kool_eggfirebrand3
    Home_HalfwaylawyerthoughtsWalashdsstockejockhaolegurl808anja_drischNorthside_MikeArrowsOfTheSunMarkAFuqua_HuntBillFienbergBombaytweeting____GeauxSaints79GingerGanderSonnyPisanoSadPerunacynicuhlNolaChef504Arroiamisterbrymobrittarnettjoedan2010grimpossibleticknadaflipthistweetJosesLovesYoumrt1mb00bjizzPrettiestPickleSimplyNamedTronUpturnedBathtubloopyloup________WrigleyAwards____MutedBSartist__shurtcobainjimmy_sharpepainted_eelscratchysinghAngreamariosmoussaDanteEvilCatXalqeeFredPollackmlinhartkamtweetingImaFlyontheWallThe_MartiniGirlKelleysBreakRm
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'll be tweeting telepathically today, so if you think of something funny, that's me.

    • 3,548
    • FAVS
    cetimestwoperchicoreeTheDudesAbidingappallinglyavglvvzzrobbdelmanhypochromiaWorldWideCrud
    • 2,170
    • RETWEETS
    perchicoreeTheDudesAbidingdavesalois__technogoddesshodgkinson_dLolaLuvsLolliesMed2luvAwichPat
    bakedbrotatoesjuneohara65rikpayneJustTashielawyerthoughtsTim_Hawkenanja_drischallisulliGrumpyBahrWiseCrackerSoupArroiaTangoEchoAlphaP__filmbizproMidgetsparSunnyGirl1717Dana_BrunoShock_Monster__chopper4jk5haelkellyskellyUnFitzjeffporpergeniusindisgize
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I use Google Earth to see which yards have milkshakes.

    • 2,935
    • FAVS
    ninespike69yesterdaygirlyperchicoreeTheDudesAbidingappallinglyavgPontMikemedico96RohitKohli236
    • 1,753
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkninespike69yesterdaygirlyperchicoreeTheDudesAbidingRohitKohli236kay_kammieYAYzorblades
    alizmayBromanConsulClancygingerfacedGingerGanderNinjaFuneral______CopulatermanSSDatedryaninco__geniusindisgizeBaddBryant________Hey_Yo_Mikey______PrincessAlexx_____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Yesterday my boss asked why I was tardy and I said, "I don't think you're supposed call people that any more."

    • 2,972
    • FAVS
    theREALdisotellKThonvoldbeefman138fionamewalshelphie052179jumpdasharkTheDudesAbidingappallinglyavg
    • 1,686
    • RETWEETS
    theREALdisotellbeefman138elphie052179JDoody523jumpdasharkTheDudesAbidingappallinglyavgsquabhouse
    momupsidedownSims_was_herekcMcCowgirlRobertMorschelIGotsSmartsslyoung5SternoShotsfullydeliriousjimmy_sharpeabhorrent_wifefavoritedbyHollyMemphisHairyJew4Lifejjax44AmishPornStar1palokinMBittersweet25JaySusHChristmeaganbb1________PORNOPINIONTheWhaleChris____cixelsidgod______SirEdSur__________DilaraCasey
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Hamburger Helper is powerless if the hamburger doesn't WANT to be helped.

    • 2,932
    • FAVS
    theREALdisotellLysdexiciabeefman138TheDudesAbidingappallinglyavgShutUpThatsWhoanja_drisch_oneighty
    • 1,575
    • RETWEETS
    theREALdisotellbeefman138TheDudesAbidingShutUpThatsWhojsawriesaintnoahblakedprinceHon1991CameronHora
    LurkAtHomeMomPetPinkElephantBromanConsuljeannerbeanerDranoRaulfoxyboxBillArrundaleturndownfornapscarlykenAdar79AngieShock_Monster__ocourtneynoLani_Haydenimrel0adraydevitoroadkill3x_Bacon_Tits_FunnyRandomkellyskellyRideOrDiePudge
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    My car's GPS has learned to say "Your other left."

    • 2,751
    • FAVS
    georgeupperJDoody523jumpdasharkSweetgirl2679TheDudesAbidingappallinglyavgShutUpThatsWhorynomite1999
    • 1,700
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkSweetgirl2679ShutUpThatsWhoOH2BINAZTami_411LittleLisaMarieAlleySuntasticCourtMillett
    RandomManikAmishPornStar1GroperClevelandOutOfLeftField_TheUnseenMe______SmooheedSternoShotsLindaInDisguiseIamEveryDayPpl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Before Twitter we used to call this "talking to yourself."

    • 2,202
    • FAVS
    RachelllClarkkziggydetritussarahkmarkcrazyjet379JDoody523TheDudesAbidingShutUpThatsWhomaryami255
    • 1,631
    • RETWEETS
    kira_finnellcrazyjet379jumpdasharkTheDudesAbidingShutUpThatsWhoNickoholictoxicpoetessTouchemonsieur
    81malcolmEarth2Eddiegaliamango
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just imagine how good prescription cheese would be.

    • 2,437
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkTheDudesAbidingUnPerfectMomappallinglyavgSeeEllVeemedico96TheOriginal_Spremyadaw001
    • 1,362
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkTheDudesAbidingUnPerfectMomappallinglyavgTheOriginal_SRohitKohli236LaniBenoPOETS_WRITERS
    anja_drischgirl_in_my_boxiamjeffsloanAHoundNamedAlbaJaySaysStuffcurlymalloyJermHimselfishshegotagronkfUCK_iSAAC_see_more13jeffporperstacetonedCleverLinguistCelebrityChezMoistPorkLipstickSpiceMike_Wrong
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm convinced that our Twitter personas are closer to who we really are than the personalities we wear in public.

    • 2,207
    • FAVS
    JDoody523TheDudesAbidingShutUpThatsWhomilk7juiceFrankLWrong13doriowenmelNCmrkernals
    • 1,376
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkmilk7juiceFrankLWrong13mrsacsylvdoriowenStephie_Larkdan_jugzmrkernals
    LockherupRNjimmy_sharpeBambamVictoriaKoJo_Sunshine____cixelsidgod______PabloGSerskigaliamangomeaganbb1________crayan9lakeanagirlVodkaMaryMattBinderaimeevc1970VerifiedJayy______MelvinofYork
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    By the time someone says something in the meeting worth writing down, I've likely already taken my pen apart and lost the spring.

    • 1,905
    • FAVS
    RlpihlJosieBreedingandydefJDoody523Karina_loverjumpdasharkmartymoosefieldStephToDeath
    • 1,393
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkRlpihlTheDudesAbidingShutUpThatsWhomanishmauryaTumshiePamRohitKohli236Allie705
    HiddleDeeDeeLiberty_JunkieCherishMeJust_Lee_fuzzlimeseanx3RunJeffreyRunOne_FineMessHeronSaysdirtydishtowelsstumblesdrunkenhoops_Daddy__bestlizardOnBeingHerDeborahPuettechrisanna4real
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's just a matter of time before they add the word "Syndrome" after my last name.

    • 2,211
    • FAVS
    JDoody523lacrossemom5LunisThornweedSuperJuandererpaulablu22Caro64641IAmKashWahblondecalamity
    • 993
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkpaulablu22blondecalamityamitagrawalgnluDplightPeteBeat_Sheetkorn_cruedisha_meeshti
    anja_drischa_olivia4212HrBrywhathaveu1________BCSkimTheMongoose69ABurgerADayFredPollackManateeJackdefnotscottKampSinjeanievilleReverend_ScottRummyLaudedDavidOzmundIntoxicaTweetedchopper4jkchrisanna4realspartacuffs______
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Fast food places should have a third window, where you can trade in the wrong stuff they gave you at the second window.

    • 1,954
    • FAVS
    BettyGrommetseanilauniJDoody523_The_Medusa_Karina_loverjumpdasharkcrdakinteachbarefoot
    • 1,228
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkRlpihlKeithBird5_Never_madpaulablu22BlackStarDahliaGo2Slpblondecalamity
    lakeanagirlslyoung5Reverend_ScottPoliticallyILL1Karate_HorseVikeeysSecretCanadian_HoserDsTwitzskitzoettethemorris23Psyche2YourEros__mikecerchiari
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Pretty sure the guy who named them "walkie talkies" got fired before he could name other military equipment.

    • 1,887
    • FAVS
    jackmaltby95BettyGrommetmostlikelykate_The_Medusa_jumpdasharkCandaceElaine5ShutUpThatsWhopzaffa24
    • 1,285
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkYogaSoul555Official_CostcoDashColerarebreedbabyC_Dangerbandito_fritoOfficialFoxNews
    KalvinMacleodkentgrossarthTheBeachWritingcavanpj6Chazballparkcathryn_ward4bodinghipchkkShrinkMediaCelebrityChezashleycremsara_ashlynnKevinBuffaloDeborahPuetteStellacopterAnita_nap
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I didn't sign up for the 401k at work, because there's no way I can run that far.

    • 1,896
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharkShutUpThatsWhosdistefjeffrofForeverHairyNicksgaarTony_E_NCcrowbloke
    • 1,190
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkstrangersonanetTownesPrescotRlpihlemilymenacechigitycheckTLewis_24ChloeO_H
    hamspamtymaamgoogleymoogleyDanielRCarrilloGeauxSaints79peachgrenadelakeanagirl
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I'm forbidding the twelve people who regularly star my tweets to ever fly in an airplane together.

    • 1,931
    • FAVS
    BLG216kylerselbyladyjazsjunkevanecclestoneelleboucaudHousewifeOfHellmostlikelykateJDoody523
    • 626
    • RETWEETS
    ladyjazsjunkevanecclestoneMegMooreOConnorHousewifeOfHelljumpdasharkShutUpThatsWhomrkernalsBenjaminKnol
    emireecraireJessObsessbonita__bonitaLastMermaid__Maxine12333RummyLaudedCrystalMoonableRadOrDie
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    In a perfect world, the phrase "axe body spray" would only be used to refer to blood splatter patterns.

    • 1,617
    • FAVS
    BLG216zombiedadAnjAvraamAmoskatlegomostlikelykateJDoody523SuperJuanderertoyotaman1988
    • 830
    • RETWEETS
    2precious4worldHousewifeOfHellmostlikelykateJDoody523jumpdasharkSalemLoutfimostafa_baydounpaulablu22
    theDanLawlerkDuncanGDaphneDoo_punzischemeScigglez__________littlekitnerboyJay__ZimSTOTLEdixie_lee_peasFredPollack
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    It's awkward when I have to pull someone aside and point out that my fly is open.

    • 1,742
    • FAVS
    GingerGanderBLG216elleboucaudreturns2tweetShutUpThatsWhodanny_mcclellanMelissaDawn1974mrkernals
    • 669
    • RETWEETS
    HousewifeOfHelldan_jugzmrkernalsSuperJuandererchompy_jrgeishalynRed__Rover2thestreetz
    PORNOPINIONMike__LeeIvyelleWright____LadyDiGerber______The_SculptressPierre__4fullblowndaveMikeyHill_zenchampionCpt_Burnout
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    I know we're not supposed to say this, but our second black president looks just like our first black president to me.

    • 1,575
    • FAVS
    jumpdasharksmintosridinciarandowneypaulablu22IAmKashWahCatherineinALJustFollownRT
    • 787
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkpaulablu22ZerofeverTheSpekkHollyHealsBadGrahammarNolaChef504JonnyKooler
    MagillicuttyMacajvaageWonderMonkey78pseudofauxmeocourtneynozachreinert03PoodasBrainWeissBrandon______cathryn_wardeTHEgoddessTheFearBoners____
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just unfollowed a bunch of people funnier than me. Now my tweets seem, you know, funnier. Tomorrow I unfollow all the good-looking people.

    • 1,640
    • FAVS
    kylerselbyladyjazsjunkmia79gbrBettyGrommetdeceased2045ShutUpThatsWhoSuperJuandererciarandowney
    • 618
    • RETWEETS
    ladyjazsjunkskullpuppy11jumpdasharkrachcampbellxxxpaulablu22PoiznSongbirdConFuseUs_DaylyOneFunnyMummy
    kellyskellykissmeimkinkyBonerfiedtwit
  • WilliamAder
      Just Bill @WilliamAder

    Just noticed my desk calendar ends on December 31. Here we go again.

    • 1,283
    • FAVS
    robin_991jaggedapemostlikelykatejumpdasharksmintpaulablu22toyotaman1988Pagikahh
    • 964
    • RETWEETS
    jumpdasharkjerrilyn71paulablu22GanderGinalheathprivartsKristinAndreneMsLeakeetheprettylush
    ashleycremCaptainObtuselucyworld1gigglegirlnoelCanadian_HoserMikeCanRant
@WilliamAder

@WilliamAder
Pro

I'll be here all weak. http://favstar.fm/users/WilliamAder