The fact that I must dial 6-6-6 on my touch screen every time I dial M-O-M is not lost on me.

If you feel the need to clarify 'that's sarcasm folks' on your social media feed, I will presume that you're not actually 'social'

Beanbag chair refilled with Pixos, empty Easy Cheez cans and a stolen wheelchair covered in silly string #BieberPartyAftermath

Finding a cat hair in my coffee is a reminder of who wears the pants in this house. Also, still single.

I joined Twitter a year ago to quiet my inner monologue and listen to those who are witty & confident, hilarious & demented, more so than I.

A red check for coloring outside the lines? My life is over. #kindergartenproblems

Just to reiterate, I hate having to repeat myself.

Reading a book before bed, attempted to thumb scroll down the page. Maybe more books and less Twitter before slumber.

Facebook is the gateway drug to Twitter. Something akin to making the jump from cigarettes straight to heroin.