If you're walking away from something, make sure what you're heading towards is worth it.

I'm one away from a hundred followers. What position is 100 in the Karma Sutra, because if I get to 100 tonight, me and the dog are doing it

After 31 years I've finally realised what women want. It's to be loved properly. Oh, and diamonds, chocolate, designers clothes, shoes......

Happiness does not rest with material goods, with riches or possessions. It rests in the heart of the one you love.

- me

For every guy that breaks a girls heart, there is a prince charming to mend it. You just have to wait for him and realise when he arrives.

Natural beauty far surpasses anything created by man.

Surprise sex is the best way to wake up, unless you're in prison.

Fuck this, I'm going outside to shoot shit.

This evening I lost my Christian advice follower but kept my filthy shemale follower. There is a god! .....wait! That's not right ......

Yeah Amy Winehouse may have fucked up, but dear god she was beautiful.

Shot through the arse and you're to blame, you give love a bad name #replaceheartwitharse

Oh, and yeah, I can still do cart wheels.....

@smokelibrarian Yes, try watching a ninja trained baboon juggling sautéd potatoes, whilst disemboweling a watermelon using a rubber chicken.

At the races. The fab four. End of an era dudes :-( http://t.co/piDz4x1

I can't tweet and shit. It's one or the other. Bare with me a moment please.

No matter how much something hurts to walk away, once that first step is taken, the next step gets easier and the path becomes clearer.

You want the truth, ask a child the question. They'll square you up pretty damn quick. Mine just did.

I just a hand stand. I'm 31. I looked like a twat. Made me smile though.

I could so be a Spartan warrior. Right, where's the baby oil, my shield and spear? Oh, I only have baby oil, a stick of celery and a bin lid

Sparrrrrrrrtaaaaaaaaa