Turn that frown sideways and shrug like you just don't care..

Bittersweet goodbyes. Thank you all for an amazing 2 yrs. xox pic.twitter.com/YqXlk0nZKs

Now that I'm leaving twitter, I'm gonna have a lot more time to have sex with my boyfriend..

The circus called.. they want their tattooed eyebrows, botoxed, midget, fortune teller back.

I will be signing off for good tonight.. I want to have fun one more time with some of my favorite people on here.

Annnnnd scene..

Song lyrics.. song lyrics.. I'm so insightful. I tweet song lyrics.

Please don't take offense.. I am a complete loser, unemployed, stay home all day collecting government checks while making asinine comments.

Never threaten to cut a bitch.. they don't deserve the heads up.

Twitter makes fb look like Sesame Street..

Coffee stains an cloves..

I gave my resignation to my boss and his jaw dropped. I don't know what he was insinuating, but I don't have a penis.

I don't like your friends..

Back to the grind..

Oh god, yes.. right there.

Denial seems to be your only friend..

Sadly, his bhole was the most photogenic part about him..

Sometimes you win, and sometimes your gf finds a picture of you looking at your bhole in the mirror..