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Obama is set to appear on one of Oprah’s last shows. He’s hoping it’s the one where she gives away 14 trillion
When you text a guy "my shirt smells like you" be sure you spell shirt correctly.
I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel everyday.
Max Factor mascara makes eyelashes appear three times longer?
Max Factor should make condoms.
How about we just remove all the warning labels on products & let the 'stupid' problem sort itself out?
Is it just me or does Oscar the Grouch from Sesame Street look like a huge pile of weed?
I'll start drinking responsibly when there is a brand of whiskey named Responsibly.
Money is the root of all evil? Is that why churches are always trying to collect it?
Why the hell hasn't Head and Shoulders made a body wash called 'Knees and Toes'?
I lost my virginity long ago, but I still take very good care of the box it came in.
If a burglar breaks into my house wielding a vacuum, my dog will be of absolutely NO protection whatsoever.
They could solve a lot of problems if they just gave the prison inmates liquid soap.
Taught my kids a new game called 'waitress and bartender' Im not leaving this couch.
Chocolate Covered Onion. Bite me. I double dog dare ya.
