There is method in my madness. But mostly meth.

But isn't 'ass backwards' just forwards again?

I can't wait until my retirement so I too can spend everyday at Sears.

So, I'm almost 100% positive I just saw someone ride their snowmobile to work.

Guess who has two burnt thumbs and started a small fire trying to cook soup? This guy.

Annie can go fuck herself. The weather man says its gonna be rainy all day tomorrow. #CurlyHairedFuck

Actually, I don't care if its a mistake. If you say "Simsims" when you mean "SimPSONs" in my presence, I will hurt you. End of story.

Okay, Microsoft Word, if you think my sentence is grammatically incorrect, TELL ME HOW TO FIX IT. Don't just underline it like an asshole.

Lemony Snicket Series of Unfortunate Drawings @kawallabear7 (In the style of the Mona Lisa) pic.twitter.com/a57HTjay

No Spiderman. @burtisclack pic.twitter.com/KB5xhdNr

Why the fuck is everything in Durham named fucking Brock? Brock street, Brock ROAD, Brock town - stop being a little shit hole.

If you name your kid Esther, you don't love them.

@bryn_haz is my favourite person evah!

@bryn_haz is 2 kewl 4 skool.

I love payal so much

I have no life herp derp

The screen on my blackberry has a SCRATCH. AHHHHH. >:c