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GoDaddy CEO kills elephant, posts video of it, pats self on back for "philanthropic work". Move your domains. http://bit.ly/euGt0F
OH: "You can have Wayne LaPierre's guns when you can pull his cold, dead head from his ass."
When I see "This Page Intentionally Left Blank" in a document I always hope that the next page will tell me why, but it never does.
Two whales in a bar. One says "mabaaooouuulaaaawaaawooowaaaammaaaaamalaaaooo". The other one says "Dude, you are SO wasted."
Seriously: 4-yr-old in street at 4am, drunk, dressed in a stolen dress. Mother's 21. Father's in jail. Tennessee. I got Bingo!
@guyendorekaiser I believe they refer to his son Donald Jr.'s hairpiece as "the hair apparent". #DonaldTrumpsHairPiece
Dreading getting home this evening, when the wife will make me get the Rapture tree down from the fucking attic.
Can't believe it. ESPN has spent the last hour talking about Tiger and Kobe. Not one single mention of the @jonmagic injury. #lessconf
Breaking: -Glenn Beck frantically erasing and re-drawing parts of his blackboard, trying to make it all fit. TRYING TO MAKE IT ALL FIT!
Next up from the Democrats is to make EVERYONE BUY AUTO INSURANCE in order to legally drive. What's that? Really? Okay, nm.
Finished my coffee, finally, and that toilet's not going to clog itself, so I'll see you all in about 15.
He really needs to stop plopping his hands down on the podium. Unless he wants to get a beat going, then it would be bad-ass.
Wow. You know you fucked up big if they're interviewing Mike Tyson for his opinion on your arrest.
"Congratulations! You failed a class so easy that people passing in the hallway get a CONTACT CREDIT!"
"Let's take a dump," I said in my head. I knew that I meant a "dump" of the database as a backup, but inside my head chuckled anyway.
Building mate's 16 yr old daughter is missing. Please RT Jacksonville peeps. Info/picture: http://t.co/faKI4RPE
An adorably clear chap, but hardly a capable acorn.
