An apple a day doesn't compare to vodka.

The only thing worse than second-hand smoke is second-hand Nickelback.

10-10-10 is XXX in Roman numerals. HAPPY PORN DAY!

According to chemists, alcohol IS a solution...

The hair tie was invented right after the first blow job.

I like to write "Wake Up" on my To-Do list so I can start the day off accomplishing something.

After sex, guys have the same problem as a murderer; what to do with the body.

The first rule of A.D.D. club is wow that's a cool necklace.

When you fuck someone for the first time, you know how their ex liked it.

Your mom: So easy a caveman can do her.

Cats have it made. They walk around naked and everyone thinks they're adorable. But if I walk around naked, I have a drinking problem.

The most fake thing you will ever see is when two girls meet each other for the first time.

True laziness is being excited when plans get canceled.

WOW! What a whore! Oh, that's a mirror. Never mind I like this outfit.

"That's what." ~ She

Is it possible that Brazil has a wax museum with nothing there?

Sometimes instead of "harder," "faster," or "deeper," I wanna yell out "Better!"

Everything is negotiable when you have tits.

Are rats' asses really ours to just give away at random?

No, porn site, I do not want to share this on Facebook.