Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
Your face is a blooper reel.
I just saw a twenty something buy some music CDs for himself and not for his grandmother and now I don't know what's real anymore
Since a lot of people post screenshots of their tweets on Instagram, I'm gonna start describing my Instagram pics on here
I miss when we were all younger and sluttier
If you really loved me, you'd understand why I have to RT other people.
Do banks offer lines of credit to cover holiday greeting card expenses?
I'm "cropping a photo used to require a pair of scissors" years old
At an Italian wedding. Can I force the father of the bride to grant me a favor today, or have I just been watching too much Godfather?
"Did you bring a phone charger by any chance?" - How people greet each other at wedding receptions these days.
If you need proof that you're not young anymore, look up this year's Coachella lineup and see how many bands you recognize.
Our future selves will be laughing at us always charging our phones, like, all the time. Fuck them & their super 3 month future batteries.
I like all your artsy pics of sunsets, your coffee, your dog, etc, only so I don't seem too pervy just liking your scantily clad selfies.
Living with two females in a house with two bathrooms means I never get to use the bathroom.
Only reason I know who's playing in the SuperBowl is because they're from the 2 states that legalized...Umm......What were we talking about?
Either I'm at a party with Darius Rucker & RuPaul right now or this stuff I took is finally kicking in.
Of course the New Jersey state flag has a severed horse's head on it. It's the Mafia's version of the Illuminati Pyramid
Watching the Jobs movie from my Android tablet through my Chromecast to my Samsung TV as I tweet about it on my Windows PC.
I have some real zingers in my draft folder, guys, but I don't think you're ready for those yet. Trapped in @randyocalypse's freezer.