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  • YesitsAl
     
    It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Wow @kelfocker you went way back and found some of my more obsure ones! We need to hang out, and bring Labia @favstaroftheday

    • 1
    • FAV
    t0shiba
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    I just saw a twenty something buy some music CDs for himself and not for his grandmother and now I don't know what's real anymore

    • 6
    • FAVS
    clyderundesi_princess1evilidiotWetzelGeekschumyxxxAvatar_unknown_48
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Since a lot of people post screenshots of their tweets on Instagram, I'm gonna start describing my Instagram pics on here

    • 9
    • FAVS
    JubafisherXalqee1evilidiotjeffreyvanclea1Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    I miss when we were all younger and sluttier

    • 12
    • FAVS
    twayne1010Xalqeejeffreyvanclea1quinlanamydesi_princessschumyxxxWetzelGeekAvatar_unknown_48
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    XalqeeAvatar_unknown_48
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    If you really loved me, you'd understand why I have to RT other people.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    XalqeeSilleVioP8NT4RJandalizeMelvinofYorkNickCasaliniImprobableEddiepugflavored
    • 2
    • RETWEETS
    RossRantsjeffreyvanclea1
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Do banks offer lines of credit to cover holiday greeting card expenses?

    • 6
    • FAVS
    MelvinofYorkImprobableEddiejeffreyvanclea1Xalqee1evilidiotRossRants
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    I'm "cropping a photo used to require a pair of scissors" years old

    • 29
    • FAVS
    JlofarsaysStrikeTheThirdGaziusBarW38biggt1973KimKardashsToeclyderunRossRants
    • 7
    • RETWEETS
    clyderunroccafella313NeuronicismMarcieBrookejeffreyvanclea1stephvelanderlazydoxy
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    At an Italian wedding. Can I force the father of the bride to grant me a favor today, or have I just been watching too much Godfather?

    • 12
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddieXalqeeRossRantslkdaniellelazydoxycurlymalloyPolhunterPExodus_1831
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    lazydoxy
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    "Did you bring a phone charger by any chance?" - How people greet each other at wedding receptions these days.

    • 17
    • FAVS
    jeffreyvanclea1ImprobableEddieXalqeeRossRantsJlofarsaysBasstardy________curlymalloyMidnightGenius
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    sarasbrkPolhunterPacurban62
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    If you need proof that you're not young anymore, look up this year's Coachella lineup and see how many bands you recognize.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    jeffreyvanclea1ImprobableEddieXalqeelacrossemom5lkdanielleladybirrrdlazydoxycurlymalloy
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    lazydoxy
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Will we see prostitute White Walkers on this season's Game of Thrones? If so, DEAD HOOKER BOOBS

    #bt140

    • 15
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddiebklynmike3stephvelandercurlymalloy_Ms_Moneypenny_Basstardy________LuvPugBeyondThe140
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    stephvelanderBeyondThe140tanagoodwinklr715mellimelle
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Our future selves will be laughing at us always charging our phones, like, all the time. Fuck them & their super 3 month future batteries.

    • 23
    • FAVS
    ValAHalla1ImprobableEddieJlofarsayscurlymalloyperpetualnoiseUntouchableShePolhunterPLaffingGUY
    • 4
    • RETWEETS
    Jlofarsayslaramatta1PolhunterPHatesNiceThings__
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    I like all your artsy pics of sunsets, your coffee, your dog, etc, only so I don't seem too pervy just liking your scantily clad selfies.

    • 19
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddieMarcieBrookestephvelandercurlymalloyLaffingGUYscotthellrisinganjadrischedbriton
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    moutzie89stephvelanderKauaibride
  • YesitsAl
     
    It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    @hatesnicethings nothing like that. It's just that my thoughts have been sounding boring to me lately. I've been watching, always watching

    • 2
    • FAVS
    _Ms_Moneypenny_HatesNiceThings__
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Living with two females in a house with two bathrooms means I never get to use the bathroom.

    • 29
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddieLaffingGUYscotthellrisingLuvPuganjadrisch_Ms_Moneypenny_silverbreezeyVirgoSherry
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    CM2BTTHD
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Only reason I know who's playing in the SuperBowl is because they're from the 2 states that legalized...Umm......What were we talking about?

    • 21
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddieLaffingGUY_Ms_Moneypenny_silverbreezeySilentDigressorEsmeraldaLatelyInconsteveableVirgoSherry
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    LaffingGUYBasstardy________melfigga3UnFitzAvatar_unknown_48
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Either I'm at a party with Darius Rucker & RuPaul right now or this stuff I took is finally kicking in.

    • 14
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddie_Ms_Moneypenny_silverbreezeyVirgoSherryBasstardy________CM2BTTHDwoedrummerboyNikkiAgain
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Exodus_1831
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Of course the New Jersey state flag has a severed horse's head on it. It's the Mafia's version of the Illuminati Pyramid

    • 24
    • FAVS
    ImprobableEddie_Ms_Moneypenny_silverbreezeyVirgoSherryMaxine12333redherringbearHatesNiceThings__naughtygeisha3
    • 3
    • RETWEETS
    HatesNiceThings__naughtygeisha3Avatar_unknown_48
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Watching the Jobs movie from my Android tablet through my Chromecast to my Samsung TV as I tweet about it on my Windows PC.

    • 21
    • FAVS
    anjadrisch_Ms_Moneypenny_silverbreezeyVirgoSherryMaxine12333CM2BTTHDDrangulaitsjustME_lissa__
    • 6
    • RETWEETS
    silverbreezeyDice_Man_UKkimberlybryant_theigirlJonTheDuelistCopulaterman
  • YesitsAl
      It's Not Al @YesitsAl

    Someone at this party is already puking. My brother's 2 year old just can't hang

    • 31
    • FAVS
    silverbreezeyBasstardy________NickCasaliniCM2BTTHDHatesNiceThings__Maxine12333itsjustME_lissa__DulciePlaid
    • 5
    • RETWEETS
    CM2BTTHDHatesNiceThings__jeffreyvanclea1_TayTayJustine_theigirl

It's Not Al’s Newest Tweets

@YesitsAl

@YesitsAl

I have some real zingers in my draft folder, guys, but I don't think you're ready for those yet. Trapped in @randyocalypse's freezer.