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@Yidago
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Friends: 707
Followers: 788
Favs Given: 17,308
Favs Rec'd: 14,621
@Yidago's (Mr. Havercamp) most faved Tweets...
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Imagine if we could merge together the brains of everone on Twitter into one person. Wow. That fucker would really love bacon.
@
Yidago
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If I don't get laid soon I'm going to have to do something drastic, like keep waiting.
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Yidago
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Wisdom for my son: There are two types of married men; those who are pussy whipped and those who are about to be divorced.
@
Yidago
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Wife has sex with that shower head so often I'm expecting her to give birth to a bidet.
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Yidago
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Browsing through the list of people following me I've come to realize there are a lot of kind and genuinely nice people on Twitter.
Block.
@
Yidago
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I don't keep a clock in my bedroom. I just open the shade on the skylight and use my morning wood as a sundial.
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Yidago
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Best part of having an anonymous twitter profile? This: My boss probably hides in the bathroom at Chucky Cheese and watches little boys pee.
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Yidago
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I don't know what all the fuss is about. I prefer clean teats. I know that when I'm suckling, I...
What? Clean tweets?
Oh, fuck that.
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Yidago
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My boss gives Jews a bad name. Also, men. And humans. My boss gives humans a bad name.
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Yidago
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I try to hold in my pee for as long as possible. The mounting pressure is a reminder that my penis is still functional and not merely decor.
@
Yidago
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Just threw up, took a shit and then masturbated. Or, as I like to tell the ladies, completed a triathlon.
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Yidago
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I love being home. Mostly because this is where my wife keeps my testicles.
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Yidago
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Wife said she cleaned *really* well in case I want to go down on her later.
There seems to be some confusion about whose birthday it is.
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Yidago
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Ahhh...alone in the office. I love this. It's quiet, I can get work done without any....huh? Now how the hell did my dick end up in my hand?
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Yidago
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New Year Resolutions: 1) Earn $1,000,000
2) Become handsome
3) Fuck a supermodel.
If you're gonna fail...fail big.
@
Yidago
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They found water on the moon. Big fucking deal. Call me when they find whores and tequila.
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Yidago
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In my inbox: "In appreciation of ur chronic sinus infection & constant masturbation, please accept this $500 gift card. Sincerely, Kleenex."
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Yidago
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In the future, public masturbation will be considered acceptable behavior. Related: I'm ahead of my time.
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Yidago
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I've been secretly giving my wife male hormones for years now in hopes she will grow a penis and I can have our marriage declared illegal.
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Yidago
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Eating Frosted Flakes 'cause, you know, theeeey're adequate!
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Yidago
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