If all my followers gathered in one room there'd probably be a lot of disappointment and pornbots.

Holy shit tweeting drunk should be illegal

Life doesn't have a rewind button. Or fast forward. Or pause. Or volume control. Or previous channel. Life is not a TV remote.

"I won't donate to your charity, but I will overpay to walk around a track for your charity." ~human beings

So jean shorts are still a thing?

Did I fart or are we in Terre Haute?

oh my god you guys I've fallen in love like 6 times today for serious

You are what you love, not who loves you #SaveRockAndRoll

My initials spell CRY so yeah I've had some hardships

If you liked it then you shoulda put a Super Bowl Ring on it

First kid's name is gonna be Marahute after this bomb-ass golden eagle in Disney's Rescuers Down Under.

My mobile Twitter device made a telephone sound and I answered it and it was Mom. Didn't know it could do that

I, Chris York, officially endorse Eric Arseneaux for @mlbfancave #Eric4FanCave Please endorse him as well @datdudebp Please RT all followers

Congrats, to US! @kelli_jenae @samanthajg2 @the_whitamaker @nkassinger @annamwimmenauer @rmhead13 @m8r2g2n @ericfromtv @progen_werdna

"Have a girlfriend yet?" -My parents and body wash

CRAP IT'S FRIDAY AND I FORGOT TO GET DOWN ON FRIDAY CRAP CRAP CRAP

@holllyyx Boyfriend? UNFOLLOWED. BLOCKED. REPORTED.

r

@ericfromtv @mattieclayton @blairwiss @o_donoghue @nickberkeley @drewdarwin @az_28 Everyone ready for #TheReunion? http://t.co/PYBhSGjX

No big deal. Just saving @celinemw from racoons all day.