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There's only a country and classic rock radio station in my town, and I'm pretty sure they just share the same Melloncamp and CCR CDs.
Girls say that even though they played with Barbies™, they didn't want to be her. If you ask me, everybody wants to be plastic these days.
I haven't tweeted in 37 years because I did ecstasy with Leo Dicaprio, and guys, that inception shit is trippy as fuck.
I'm watching Barbie Muskateers in French and I'm lonely, guys. I'm really lonely.
I think I heard someone say like, there's no rest for the wicked, but I actually had a pretty good sleep last night.
I just want to go to sleep and pretend LOL cats aren't real.
Sup, reflection? #ThingsISayToTheMirror
I may google all my abnormal health symptoms, but at least my name isn't Garry and I don't listen to Luke Bryan and drive a Ford Ranger.
Best way to know you have worms, is to get someone to shine a light on your butt while sleeping, and catch culprits in the act.-The Internet
I just be throwin' out stars like a TMNT, foo'!
People tell me I live in my own world. One where Channing Tatum doesn't exist.
Just put Jim Sturgess as my phone background because I'm running out of ways to punish myself.
This view is so beautiful, I just cummed in my sundress. Too bad I'm looking at a widescreen TV in Walmart's electronic department.
I'm going to drink just enough so that I can get date-raped. Hasn't happened yet, but I don't give up on my dreams!
Just watched Coach Carter, so now I understand poverty.