@Zaius13's (Doctor Zaius) recent favourites. See who @Zaius13 favs the most...
Also, the second part of that tweet was from The Breakfast Club. Sound lame? Then so is everything John Hughes did after Revolver.
4
Home ownership is just nonstop problems. Today the brown area in front of my house started turning green. How much is this gonna cost me?
3
Whenever I walk down the street I'm imagining that a local tv news crew is filming my torso for a report on obesity.
Thursday. Or Thorsday. Named after the god Thor. Who carried a hammer. So, yes, I'm hammered. Apology accepted, Officer.
What's the statute of limitations, hypothetically, on adding 'Superfly' as a joke middle name to, say, your daughter's birth certificate?
15
What if searching for a cure is what causes cancer? Or at the very least it only makes the cancer angry. And then something funny goes here.
Sometimes when I throw up I like to pretend the toilet is a baby bird and you're not even reading this anymore are you.
Travel tip: as soon as the plane lands, stand in the aisle, ramming each other with your soulless moron faces chewing cud, you disgust me.
It's funny how I always think of that movie Mommy Dearest when I'm dressed as Joan Crawford beating orphans with wire hangers.
wife got an iPhone.
Does it really add "I'm just a better person than you." to all txts and emails it sends? And voice messages she leaves?
Does it really add "I'm just a better person than you." to all txts and emails it sends? And voice messages she leaves?
On March 17th, drunks the world over celebrate Regulars' Folly Day by wearing whatever color their underpants are and staying the fuck home.
9
Tip: To have your favorites shown faster, follow @favstar