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Like a circle in a spiral
Like an ever spinning wheel
Like the cockwombles on facebook
None of them are real
Sometimes all you can do is pick yourself up, dust yourself down & sponsor a penguin
Researching ancestry, so far none buried with anything good
I really hope she's the one, we're meeting up in the hallway of despair later
Not sure we need all this seven days in a week bullshit
I'm smiling & I like people, this is not going to end well.....
Today was awful, but not stuck in a lift with a yeti awful, they never bring snacks, never apologise
I worry too much about being widowed in a mysterious skittles incident to ever marry
I'm on here because some are funny, some worth listening to, some both, hot isn't a dealbreaker
according to my phone I'm connected to everything except reality, works for me
Big shout out to the 3740 real people on Twitter, half of you are pretty good :)
We shared a grapefruit once, turns out it meant nothing to her
Son just explained the differences between two cartoon robots & now my beer can't chill fast enough
Don't fuck about, be wrong properly & earn the stupidity with pride
Ok so plans B, C & D are probably beer but E contains all the fuck it in existence
Tongue tied & nervous he looks deep into her eyes, yes, she says, you are still hallucinating
2014? Well, it wasn't 2013 but it was no 2003 either, wasn't even a 1991, bastard
Catfish or cockwomble? Voting made easy
If you can knit a sweater out of jealousy & anthrax you too could be worth dating
Over 40, still alive
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