amazing how my vocabulary changes once i am inside a car alone in traffic.

agenda: tea, breakfast, find hot air balloon operator, kidnap balloon, fly over people i despise, drop things, jail, bail, dinner. tired.

awww, feeding your child mcdonalds every morning. how cute, unhealthy and irresponsible of you.

Blow in My Pants #moviesinmypants

humor wins. EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. keep it silly. why i left corporate america. far too serious. plus i napped.

conveyor belt sushi. i laid down on it. select me.

i made enough tuna pasta salad to invite everyone from twitter over. hurry, it will spoil by tomorrow. oh, that was quick. *doorbell

you know you've lived alone long enough when you say to yourself, 'hey, that's too loud, turn it down'.

if at first you don't succeed. steal. or lie. or just give up then. my god.

@mitchnutter @joerogan LET'S GO PEOPLE! #deathsquad

do NOT screw with boston.

@lisaandtots hot avi....if i didn't live in hawaii and was married, i swear i'd move there... happy whatever you celebrate today day \000/

ALWAYS make eye contact with neighbors. we are humans. when they don't reciprocate i feel bad for them. plus i'm adorable!

@brokentoolz @lisaandtots :)... all is good... aloha from oahu...\000/

@lisaandtots i'd stay there all day long if i could stare at you... wooops, hit send.

alright, all you cute women out there. enough with the cute avis. ok, you win.

@lorlorlori faux sure...

@_congorilla_ either way, you're cute.

family gathering tomorrow night. recite their names? ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

@_congorilla_ left nostril is the creative one, fyi.