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Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine
They say that what goes around, comes around. When it does I hope it hits you twice as fucking hard
I can’t undo my mistakes. All I can do is make more mistakes and hope the original one gets diluted
In an argument, your woman always has the last word. Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a new argument
Deja Moo: The feeling that you've heard this bullshit before.
No, I don't want to say 'hello' to you at the checkout. I just want you to scan my food so that I can fuck off. And you can fuck off too
#FF all those who have found the light of love in the dark heart of another
I know people who should be marked as spam in real life
I could do with a supersized order of whatever the fuck it was you were just thinking
I feel like a skid mark in the washing machine of oblivion
Jesus died for our sins. Let's not disappoint him.
Everyone is alive for some reason. Even if its to be a bad example
Would you like lies with that?
Yeah its all fucking hilarious until a box of frozen fish fingers is slipped into your vagina while you were doing the ironing
Carpe Scrotum. Seize life by the testicles
The only truly consistent people are dead
I will cum on your important documents. I will cum on your gas mask. I will cum on your ankles. I will cum on your Zippo lighter
well did you or didn't you? You must know for fucks sake?
My chemicals tell me I am attracted to you. My olfactory nerve tells me you are someone to be avoided
You will have to ask my clitoris the question. My vagina will make the decision. My penis will give you the answer