I think freezers deserve a light as well.

I’ve tried yoga, But I find stress less boring.

I always wanted to have the super power of bieng able to read other people’s minds.Then I got twitter and found that it’s not worth it

I fast in ramadan, Rest of the year I am very slow very very slow.

We all start as one egg on Twitter , But some people evolve into two eggs after a while.

Thank god I live in egypt because when I tell girls I gain pounds like crazy, They think I am talking about money.

Even if women came with an instruction manual, Nothing is gonna change men don't read that anyways.

yesterday i saw a banner in carfour saying paris hilton now open.I am kinda confused isn't this old news.

I can never say on facebook what i say here they ain't as cool as you guys. (By cool i mean crazy) (By facebook I mean Anywhere)

They say that short memory is one of the keys to happiness and..... I am sure i was going somewhere with this tweet but i don't remember.

Yo mama is so ugly she looks beautiful in her ID photo.

What do we want? PROCRASTINATION! When do we want it?... Next week.

I am pretty sure if Ghandi was driving in cairo these days he would have punched someone in the face.

I just can't believe that a married cat would have to commit suicide 9 times to get out of this shit.Poor cats

Angry texting is typos bist freind.

“@nehalsharaf_: If you want a man's attention, ignore him.”

And that ladies and gentleman why 68% of egyptian girls are single :D

People that take twitter seriously you know that WWE is fake right!!?

It's 7:21 Am egyptian time, since you are all asleep i think it's safe to say i fucked a goat once.

Note to self: Thanks for being always there for me in 2012

Steps to happiness:


1: Get a hot a girl
2: Tell her to touch her belly button with both her elbows.

You are welcome brother.