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There is no such thing as a stupid question, only stupid people who ask questions when the answer is completely obvious.
If you think you love something, set it on fire. If you're still attracted to it with all the burn scars, then it is love.
"This is the best acid ever. I totally should write some children's books now." ~ Dr. Seuss
So glad there's such a thing as karma.
I can rest easy at night knowing all the people I did bad shit to had it coming.
In vagina we thrust.
My experience with women has taught me that Jack was most likely pushed down the hill.
Once you give up on ever being happy, life is much easier to deal with.
I'm a sucker for nipples.
I don't like the way this candy bar Snickers at me.
My porn name is Hands Solo :(
I've never seen a bee fuck a bird.
I have NO sympathy whatsoever for people who complain about being hungover.
If you don't want a hangover, don't stop drinking.
The second coming of Christ? It's been over 2000 years since he came the first time. I'd hate to be the chick to take that load.
I'm comfortable enough with my own sexuality to bitchslap another man.
I think we can all agree that the moral of Romeo and Juliet is that truly loving and giving your heart to someone always ends in suicide.
I French kissed a vagina. And I liked it.
It's not so much that I enjoy being drunk. I just don't like being sober.
There's a Highway to Hell and a Stairway to Heaven. I hate climbing stairs. I'd rather just drive to my destination.
The only people who change their minds more than women are schizophrenic women.
I imagine a former gymnast turned mime with a hot body and no gag reflex would make the best girlfriend ever.