Oh hello. This is the Gashlycrumb Tinies as an animated GIF: http://tiny.cc/bdhyi You're welcome.

That zombie article is a similar revelation to when I was 9 and my dad told me Tremors worms couldn't get us because we lived on a rock.

Whew. What a relief: 7 scientific reasons a zombie outbreak would fail (quickly) http://tiny.cc/0ql8t

It kills me that tv & movies always show people wearing full matchy pajamas. A fucking button-up shirt for bed? Bullshit. #pajamaconspiracy

Why, yes! I do want to download a new version of itunes! Thanks for asking!

Princess Batman wins forever (via @thedailywhat): http://tiny.cc/gam7j

Losing my faith in humanity one Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2 commercial at a time.

The world's your oyster, or another better metaphor.

This is seriously the best thing I have seen in a while: http://cheesepeople.tumblr.com/

Hey-o! RT @inthenick @_jmo_ I still contend that the ad is good. Cock usually doesn't come in a bun. Whoa, where did that sentence go?

Thanks for the literal mind-fuck, Fiat: http://tiny.cc/gv3f1

Just discovered the awesomeness of Fanfarlo http://tiny.cc/2q18t and Marina and the Diamonds http://tiny.cc/hbnxp (thanks to @inthenick)

Last meal before Wild Rose D-Tox begins. Making it a good one: brunch at The Village #yyj. Bring on the challah french toast!

Working near a high school is such a treat. Just can't get enough of those sulky teens loitering in our parking lot.

I think I'm disproportionately excited about the fact that my new office has my name and title on the door. Fuck yeah!

Listening to Cat Stevens and purging old files. Those documents are ridin' the Peace Train straight to the shredder. Clap-clap!

I love when one of the court dates that flash between scenes on Law & Order is my birthday.

Just received notice from my pension plan that I can retire in January 2047. Used my finger gun to shoot myself in the head.

"I will be honest with you. I do want the credit without any of the blame."