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*iPhone marimba ringtone goes off in a restaurant* Every person frantically pulls out their phones. *man proudly holds up his ringing phone*
Awkward moment: my Ex girlfriend and I pulled up to a 4 way stop at the same time. I let her go, Again.
I'm not that drunk.
Im not taht drunk.
Im nt taht drink.
I'm thnot druunk.
i aseiuf hiwh.
Blood starts dripping out of my nose in class, I apologize to the horrified girl sitting next to me. I whisper "sorry for party rocking".
Something 2 look forward to, I heard nickelback might be opening for the free credit score band in September.
Guy at the gym just 1 rep shoulder pressed like 400lbs then got up and screamed (pardon my French) AH BITCH LEMME F*CK UR BIG F*CKIN TITTIES
Siri, how dirty and used do you feel considering you were purposely created with flaws only so you could be perfected in the iPhone 5
Playing apples to apples (Green card: hopeless) *peers down at red cards* looks back and forth between Barack Obama and Mitt Romney cards.
god i hope nobody dies from marajuana overdoses tonight. be smart teens. #2013
Sister blasting Black and Yellow as I walk in the door. I ask her to turn if off, she responds with I BET YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO SINGS THIS
Fake Ted accounts quickly outnumbering the fake Will Farrell accounts. Help
Atwood street backed up for blocks with moms waiting to pick up their kids from Mi Ranch.
🎶 On the 11th day of September, President Bush gave to me 🎶