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If someone prefers uncircumcised penis, do you say they prefer their tube steak wrapped in bacon?
I can't marry someone that likes their steaks well done.
I totally feel you, people that date deployed soldiers. This extreme long distance thing sucks.
I can't have sex with someone if I know they hate Christmas music.
My profile header proves I can't do underboob, but what I can do is arguably better.
But seriously: how could would it be if breasts produced beer instead of milk?!
The ultimate Twitter girl:
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Twitter poll: Could I pass for 22?
When I said I like a gaping asshole as much as the next person, I didn't mean a surprised jerk.
"The best way to win Jeopardy is to have a little nerd in you," she thought as she rode him reverse cowgirl and shouted questions at the TV.
Just went to check the mail in only yoga capris because I "forgot" to put on shirt/sports bra first. Neighbor saw me and I waved, smiling.
I was just told, "You have the kind of face that WWII fighter pilots had taped to their instrument panels." Twitter, you are AWESOME.
Never reject a post-coitus high five. It's like a double compliment because your partner is too worn out to even speak.
Okay, fine. I'll enthusiastically give head and anal to anyone who brings this injured girl any kind of cooked food.
I would VERY enthusiastically give head to someone if they brought me decent Chinese food. (The Chinese place in my town doesn't deliver.)
Fully nude strip clubs are an alcoholic's best friend.
Nerdsexual. Bipolar/Borderline. Exhibitionist. Mermaid. Cooks and bakes for money. (Instagram & Snapchat: patiencejane)