If you watch Jaws backwards; it's actually a film about a shark that is bulimic.

The bigger your boobs the more I care about your feelings.

I think kelly clarkson has been eating since you been gone.

Breasts are my favorite kind of fruit.

I think the bank teller is into me. she just asked me for my account number..

Those 3 most precious words to any parent. BACK TO SCHOOL.

When someone touches my alcohol I automatically turn into a ninja.

Women that shop at the dollar store and order off the dollar menu are keepers...

Sorry women who think they're god's gift to the world. hot women is not a endangered species.

I wonder if the liquor store takes food stamps.

Trying to find a pen in my house is like trying to find jimmy hoffa..

Tom Brady looks so Pretty tonight...