Some guy got my phone number and keeps texting "Remember Space Jam?". I dont need this.

What sport does a vampire play? Batmitten ha ha ha just a spooky little joke from your friend, Michael Jordan.

Who lives in a Pineapple under the sea? Michael Jordan. Ha ha ha I dont really. Just having a little fun.

i put grape soda in my mini super soaker and i'm squirting it into my mouth. this is how you turn a monday, into a funday.

doctor said my colesterol is the highest hes ever seen. my greatness extends past basketball. im unstoppable

the sign at this subway bathroom says employees must wash hands. ive been waiting for them to come wash my hands for an hour. nothing.

I was locked in a quizno bathroom for two hours today. I yelled but they didnt hear me. I dont need this.

I was just thinking this: Cats dont have buttcheeks.

rollerskated into town to get a mcmufflin but i forgot my coin purse. why does god hate me?

a rabbit is a animal, but also its the noise a frog makes. wow that really makes you think.

All cake isn't birthday cake, but all birthday cake is cake. Really makes you think.

@tacobell I was wondering. Is a Taco a sandwitch?

the dvd logo will hit the corner of the tv screen if you wait 6 hours. thats what i did today. no regrets.

I can speak french. French Fries. Ha ha ha just joking around a little bit. Stay cool in this heat.

accidentally signed a check Michael Jumping but they still took it. im just always thinking about jumping

My biggest inspiration in life is Beetoven. He was a big dog that didnt let any thing get in his way.

a man goes too a doctor, he has a carrot in his nose. he says i dont feel good. doctor says your not eating right ha ha just a bit of humor.

ham comes from a pig. hamburgers dont come from a pig. gonna have to sit right here and think about this for a while.

i think i've had it with the moon. its a big dumb ball. dont talk to me, about the moon.

just saw a chinese man with blond hair and It shook me to my core