A slut is just a woman with the morals of a man.

She who laughs last is slowest but she who laughs first has the dirtiest mind!

I'm on whisky diet. I've lost three days already.

A blue whale ejaculates 40,000 gallons of sperm durin mating,but only 10,000 gallons enters female & u wonder why the sea is so salty!

My second favorite household chore is laundry. My first favorite is bein hit in the head repeatedly by the ceiling fan blades until I faint.

A new postage stamps shaped like a clitoris was introduced y'day but its not sellin well cos only 5% of men know how to lick it properly!

Apparently I'm not the only one here who dosen't have a filter between their brain and their mouth.

The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you..

People call me crazy, they are just jealous because I have a jacket that makes me hug myself.

You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.

No actually I DON'T regret my behaviour! I only regret someone had a camera ;)

I don't like that tone of voice you're texting me in.

Is the bank really allowed to put LOL in the balance column?

Sex is on the mind of most of the people, specially those who shouldn't be having it..

Just noticed that nobody says "its just a game" when thr team is winning.

Survey says that the average sex last about seven minutes, and 95% of the women are thinking,"Somebody owes me six more minutes!"

Waiting for the fantastic threesome with my pillow and bedsheet!!

Since it's impossible to not make mistakes, make the best mistakes possible.

I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they pass by.

They accused me of jumping the traffic lights.. I said, fuck off, they are 12 ft tall..