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  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Gift @__candypants Favstar Pro to unlock their best tweet!Gift them Pro!

    • 1,369
    • LIKES
    Jeffisamessmorrisdewgecheck62wsts_tSharla_pantsMarcieBrookeJuliusSkeeezerphlaug
    • 741
    • RETWEETS
    _tihomirLizWeir91katiemorrison94riakayyyJaffa_MillerWonathanJardelie_gastelumCelinaTTolbert
    JosesLovesYouNinjaFuneral______GroperClevelandPoodasBrainkytillidieDeanB15sexxxnyourgirlJandalizeTheTennisPhenom__
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Girls pick jerks over nice guys the same way guys pick sluts over cool girls.. we are all idiots.

    • 1,008
    • LIKES
    Cyd10ehelado721alisiyacbkDuncanGToxicProbablykmdk83____________KendellMaddenfractaljackal
    • 712
    • RETWEETS
    Cuzgeorge2196Cyd10ealisiyacbEpic_seenzolofighterfractaljackalDavidWaddleLisaLovesTacos
    vajjiefbabyshegotagronkbouncingblonde__
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    If you break up and get back together more than twice, I will not listen or care about your relationship problems you idiot.

    • 837
    • LIKES
    alisiyacbashlar36SecureSamCmack4018__rodney_at_largeCheyCookeavi_fiskbilliebigelow
    • 339
    • RETWEETS
    alisiyacbAnnie_Rulesavi_fiskkmdk83____________essentialchaos__Prince_Madness1MasterOfFurythe_couch_guy____
    shegotagronk
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    I go for the cute, goofy guy with the jokes over the hot, cocky guy with the muscles everytime. Because funny guys are the best guys.

    • 743
    • LIKES
    alisiyacbBwanaChrisfractaljackaleves_kayleepennyrose345RealBettyCocker34michaelangeloHelmdawgE
    • 327
    • RETWEETS
    alisiyacbfractaljackaleves_kayleehollithackerNikki_Lea44carykaylerozeTheAlexPPrince_Madness1
    0lipops__________shwebby2__________Shock_Monster__squashguy15
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    My brother is trying to set me up with a guy on his Xbox.. that's a new low you guys, a new low.

    • 746
    • LIKES
    alisiyacbHelmdawgEtwayne1010DETROIT_AC__Jjkinky49JeffThibautCourtiosJamesonN7david_payton
    • 197
    • RETWEETS
    alisiyacbJjkinky49JeffHorrorRonaldJamesonN7david_paytonPrince_Madness1ColoradoCrowJodyhic
    TreeWalrus________
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    My mom hands me an extra large zucchini and says "It's for eating by the way". My mom might like twitter after all..

    • 674
    • LIKES
    34bearcatalisiyacbkDuncanGsammyj_04__fractaljackalHelmdawgEscreammsayonaraPrince_Madness1
    • 209
    • RETWEETS
    34bearcatalisiyacbfractaljackalPrince_Madness1Rosie_ZadiniaMasterOfFuryTheButchJonestkhan74
    tiffinyleeryanEvilPandaXBigHeb7urbusta
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    I call pregnancy on that engagment.

    • 610
    • LIKES
    kDuncanGoheydoo__HelmdawgELizziefroadult_keveragelmiller3341Cameltoesmcgeeha_MARTI_a
    • 219
    • RETWEETS
    jeffswarenshemiteBthe1HelmdawgEmrs_rainey1970SmackinMonkeysNOTBRYANKINGmotionjess__Prince_Madness1
    jaffryanBaBofaEFFFFFFYOU________1800Randy
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    I will ALWAYS take "you're so weird" as a compliment.

    • 496
    • LIKES
    NoamanBToxicProbablyBDoghouseRealBettyCockerHelmdawgEcarykaylerozeTheAlexPOnlyNeoIsMe
    • 313
    • RETWEETS
    emily_wennerrelseykoNikki_Lea44carykaylerozeTheAlexPa91k_chaseOnlyNeoIsMeMadShaffer
    JustASmirkRipperReed
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    If buying boxed wine makes you classy, then I am the Queen of England.

    • 588
    • LIKES
    CatherineLMKHelmdawgETheAlexPasegerstCajunBethgKeystoneKid27shellybrook0402Prince_Madness1
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    HelmdawgETheAlexPcandy_badassPrince_Madness1the_couch_guy____OmarKhyamiamJ_Hughes_1985LeiaMarieG
    No_Job_JoeNight_ER_Ninja
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Just watched some idiot spend 10 minutes trying to vacuum up a gum wrapper instead of just picking it up. JK. It was me. I'm so lazy.

    • 476
    • LIKES
    kDuncanGfractaljackalDamnPutnamGirlHelmdawgEdinkykinkyJmfB88Rosie_ZadiniaVanillaRoads__
    • 187
    • RETWEETS
    Rosie_ZadiniaMasterOfFuryThatBitchChaconYessiDawgMarisssaHiltonpimpCblackesparzaisaiahbeefyman99
    PaulyMosh
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    People who wear pants to bed are creepy.

    • 433
    • LIKES
    kDuncanGQuartzjixlermdhiggins78HelmdawgEpasserbyshadowhalchampionbubbav26Mrs_Mmmm
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    passerbyshadowbubbav26itsakadoozie03__TheAlexPhotmessminushot__the_couch_guy____TheButchJonesmandacrabtree
    DsTwitz
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    The more awkward you are, the more I will love you. Everytime.

    • 458
    • LIKES
    VishkankariaHelmdawgEforallthewinecarykaylerozesoul_craving__Mrs_MmmmMischievousassyiGreenMonk
    • 142
    • RETWEETS
    MischievousassyTheAlexPkatiegorewaxervajjiefbabymike_sweetsventivodkacranJenny4ashleyAmbidextrous_13
    Fuckinmorons
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    My mom just told me to "Mapquest" directions..... And how would you like me to get there, mom? My covered wagon?

    • 426
    • LIKES
    kDuncanGHelmdawgEl3av3m3alon3King__CuttTheAlexPSonofConwayCodyMinarichgeekycooker
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    tessmansfield12TheAlexPscoobdooblesTheButchJonesPaulyMoshOlive_Liver__LG1092marinaciera
    Chazballpark
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    <------- Brought her remote to work instead of her phone like a true intellectual.

    • 418
    • LIKES
    CubaMayne__kDuncanGfractaljackalHormonellaHelmdawgEl3av3m3alon3TwistedCrazzyMythicalCrystal
    • 129
    • RETWEETS
    yldncr8zMythicalCrystalpottersclay94TheAlexPthe_couch_guy____fill_mysoul__TitsAndBumsJenny4ashley
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Pretending to be busy is exhausting.

    • 403
    • LIKES
    HelmdawgESonofConwayCodyMinarichmydmac11intheendBeauJoe56mind_numbfill_mysoul__
    • 131
    • RETWEETS
    11intheendmind_numbfill_mysoul__TitsAndBumsNoniMsi____FauxHipster_Jenny4ashleyNo_tact_here
    HysteriaBarbie
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    On facebook, you can watch someones pregnancy. On twitter you can watch someones road to getting more drunk. I like twitter.

    • 371
    • LIKES
    vOrgZfractaljackalHelmdawgEpgarcias12smile95okTwistedCrazzypottersclay94TweetMelissa83
    • 113
    • RETWEETS
    fractaljackalTheAlexPTheBeard38cheyytyler72_NatashaMasonkeltonbeltzTitsAndBumsJenny4ashley
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Nothing quite like running into your ex boyfriend's parents with a cart full of alcohol and hot pockets..

    • 383
    • LIKES
    SofiaLuvi__HelmdawgElabodiquaamhlawyerTweetMelissa83ktlj1TheAlexPJosesLovesYou
    • 92
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    yldncr8zLisaLovesTacosTweetMelissa83TheAlexPTitsAndBumsJenny4ashleyBobFoxx214No_tact_here
    jferg1616GimpySunshine____ShotOfBull
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Kelly Clarkson is the new Nickelback... No more songs please.

    • 289
    • LIKES
    HelmdawgEJosesLovesYougtdoopsIamThorMeToo______vewdewchyldPaulyMoshNo_tact_hereNinjaFuneral______
    • 179
    • RETWEETS
    vewdewchyldJenny4ashleyABstoner44________No_tact_hereMcInappropriatecharliedelta7__Favstar250Stevie_Sez
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    "LeBron has cramps"... I get those every month you baby.

    • 351
    • LIKES
    HelmdawgEJosesLovesYouTBadkissunderyourbed666sprusso89adicortezcollshmeen23HogsNCubs__
    • 106
    • RETWEETS
    sprusso89aaronupCuddleYourCatJenny4ashleyPaulyMoshBobFoxx214bad_lee215No_tact_here
    jumpdashark
  • __candypants
      candice @__candypants

    Whenever I talk to a good looking guy, I turn into some kind of weird comedian that says "bro" a lot.

    • 369
    • LIKES
    kDuncanGMoneypennyNakedHelmdawgEatanenhausJ3ssicaGrac3jenlaw_11JerynnNicoleDishy2101
    • 74
    • RETWEETS
    DisEkYolandiiiJosesLovesYouthe_couch_guy____Jenny4ashleyPaulyMoshNo_tact_heredavecoons75vajjiefbaby
    trumpthechumpUnsatiatedVixen
@__candypants

@__candypants

MIZZOU grad. Sorority girl. Sports nerd. Proud American. Mom. Trophy wife.

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