If you're an awkward guy who can't hold a conversation, there's a pretty good chance I want you.

Can we just fast forward to the part where everyone in the world is happy?!

I just wanna make snowman babies with you on the front lawn.

Some of you people really need to look up the word "ironic" in a dictionary.

Sometimes you just have to sit in your car in the driveway to finish belting out your sweet solo!

Thank you YouTube for being there when I needed to tie a necktie...again.

Things are completly falling apart while other things are coming together perfectly at exactly the same time. Life is weird.

Name your kid after the place you did it in is the new trend? Looks like there's a baby named 'Chevy Van' in my future.

I'm going out tonight, but just know I'd rather be in my bed with you guys.

Just almost tweeted the meanest thing I've ever thought on here. Ahhh, the polite Canadian in me pressed delete though.

Think it's time for one of those there dreams about a burly man in plaid.

Just sitting here waiting for one of you guys to tuck me in and sing me the 'soft kitty' song.

Favourite Japanese restaurant closed. Time to move.

Make me some coco & tell me everything that's going badly in my life will work itself out.

I'd probably let gym class hero guy toss er in. Only cause I like the name Travi.

So disappointing when your phone goes off & you grab it all excited only to find it's a Facebook notification.

Oh my God. Becky, look at her butt, it is so big!

I'm in a bikini. Riding an elephant. Drunk.

Lobsters are a silly people.

Going to the store. Not putting pants on. Winning life.