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  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'm so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.

    • 2,426
    • FAVS
    AllemanShaloncokelusionSassyChantelleDou7DouglasJimWayland56DecantAndPourSDPlissken1captain_linky
    • 1,283
    • RETWEETS
    xophaneyou_only_seeaaaangielozataximikeCarryZukjessicaykrJimWayland56Moyamal
    joeljeffreyThe_Just_Factor1800Randy10InchesPlusjeffreyvanclea1I_Mee_Myself_palokineliserose5twayne1010ChazballparkThedudishTitansHomerLipglosslesboMyLongBalls
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet.

    • 1,673
    • FAVS
    SassyChantellearunbhargava7ufosmulanMiss_AlterEgoSDPlissken1karenphotogkorrrikorrriSlaveGuinevere
    • 850
    • RETWEETS
    Candelariag4141SassyChantelleronquillo2323taximikeGodScissorerkarenphotogSlaveGuinevereGdzllagrlNicole
    LIWIKZGeanina_26K__lvvzzJVarsityCaptainHerPinkRibbons
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    If I were immortal I would probably spend the next 200 years wasting my time on the internet.

    • 1,593
    • FAVS
    ilovepickles44SassyChantelledeanlindo_TKDlordthomasoiskibar14LustylustchucknextdoorWingmouth
    • 618
    • RETWEETS
    ilovepickles44SassyChantellebluelily2424l_lucyfurriskibar14Kacancu_jrchucknextdoorCamGZA
    ThateverydayguyMrsJekyllsHydeMr_goose007Elifcello9DaysOldsilent_musingssgtblueeyes
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I just read my own tweets and now I want to unfollow and block myself.

    • 1,256
    • FAVS
    RaiDawgHuskytrivialattirebowlingforcassilvertatkwikyking7_malekgedankenmalerinThenisha9
    • 576
    • RETWEETS
    trivialattireportaldropmeIancholicminddeadinsideofmymyonlyHWANkwikykingEsraaRashwaanbluelily2424
    theshantillyjuneohara65
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I got so drunk last night I texted my current girlfriend instead of my ex.

    • 1,135
    • FAVS
    bigpapa_1969brittanyyallanndulexabovm0therfkeromgurbcsushisayshi1bailey_ferrariShut_up_Marissa
    • 570
    • RETWEETS
    CollinsOnTopHeyKatelonaaronupelixiraromaticthatdutchpersonbullitt6454Asshole_Godbradjmyers
    danrgraberLisabug74SuburbanComaKimKardashsToe
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Saying "Drink responsibly" is like saying "Penetrate respectfully"

    • 1,009
    • FAVS
    rjgnuguidbitchvillechappell_caseyMayumiMidori7Denise_FeruniBitchSeatkasumuni_onume_
    • 586
    • RETWEETS
    bitchvilleMayumiMidori7BitchSeatOkieGirl405kasumuni_lovemydogduckmissskye81Majorboobage
    MayumiMidori7krissyerased______SoapyJohnsonMelvinofYork
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Love is when she won't shut the fuck up and you don't even want to kill her and dispose her body in a lake.

    • 863
    • FAVS
    BitchSeat__tripppyhippielovemydogduckOhHello_AllyJoecookiesnweedsnowdoernchen__danicafeyysuiourne
    • 347
    • RETWEETS
    BitchSeatOkieGirl405lovemydogduckbuhsbaby_babyLostGirl2323ThisEgoAlterorangeagle15pucci79
    ReDHeaDeDTaRT____scotty_claydon__kamiekaymee__
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    You had me at unavailable.

    • 795
    • FAVS
    MayumiMidori7LostGirl2323JustUnstableMeRICKSH0Wmiss_jerkettestuey04ThisEgoAlterLeahsLounge
    • 294
    • RETWEETS
    MayumiMidori7LostGirl2323miss_jerkettestuey04ThisEgoAlterkyry5orangeagle15onelucky15__
    GroperClevelandStickyickyBunsSarcasmo718
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I had to use a Blackberry to check my mail. I pressed so many buttons that now I think I can fly a plane.

    • 753
    • FAVS
    MayumiMidori7LostGirl2323kyry5orangeagle15lethabomaesela1kubrickloverKThonvolddjdarrellripley
    • 273
    • RETWEETS
    MayumiMidori7OkieGirl405LostGirl2323orangeagle15lethabomaesela1kubrickloverKThonvolddjdarrellripley
    CruelMeiga
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Do you have to be funny to get stars around here or do I just have to draw a dick on my cat and tell you all about it?

    • 833
    • FAVS
    MayumiMidori7deegeemindiChrisBrown918LostGirl2323KThonvoldrnbny81djdarrellripleyrsmith9632
    • 161
    • RETWEETS
    OkieGirl405LostGirl2323djdarrellripleydoralransonet__Ignorant_IndianNymphSamnoneofyours99No_tact_here
    KatarinaKriz
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Nephew: What's love?

    Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink.

    Sister: Get away from him!

    • 596
    • FAVS
    SammyJB121RICKSH0WThisEgoAlterkyry5zen_dadorangeagle15johngayseedjdarrellripley
    • 383
    • RETWEETS
    ud1786LostGirl2323ThisEgoAlterorangeagle15djdarrellripleyGamersRespawnPenguinRobotWhatevaConc
    Doom_Jedi
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    When mom asked about Twitter I sent her a link to a web page with sounds of the birds from Costa Rica.
    I got everything under control.

    • 665
    • FAVS
    LostGirl2323JustUnstableMeVice_Queenvexroidkyry5danverjamvanessaishhlovemesomekstew__
    • 284
    • RETWEETS
    LostGirl2323vexroidkyry5favstar_historydjdarrellripleydoralransonet__SuchAMisfitIgnorant_Indian
    HuttonGray
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'll call it smartphone when it slaps me in the face before sending a text to an ex.

    • 588
    • FAVS
    anniebeeiewingsimpliedalpha_deepChooseHeatherkally_grvahsiNleaderbeanPhablettes
    • 294
    • RETWEETS
    ChooseHeatherBeccaCardiavahsiNJHM05LostGirl2323clsummsGerriBuddjoci2203
    StrugglesBGbblovebug_00________
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

    • 643
    • FAVS
    LostGirl2323KThonvoldlildandeli0ndjdarrellripleylisaxy424doralransonet__Ignorant_Indiandeedragonhunter
    • 186
    • RETWEETS
    LostGirl2323lildandeli0ndjdarrellripleydoralransonet__Ignorant_IndianTastesLikeBoardWretchGeeknoneofyours99
    RitleySammich
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    So the Pope opens a Twitter account 2 months ago and now he doesn't want to work.
    Coincidence? I think not.

    • 476
    • FAVS
    MajorboobageLostGirl2323danverjamlildandeli0ndjdarrellripleyLilBlueBloodlisaxy424Ignorant_Indian
    • 274
    • RETWEETS
    MajorboobageLostGirl2323djdarrellripleyIgnorant_IndianNymphSamgreek2289indigofizzdeedragonhunter
    juneohara65so_amusedDannyjokesUrinElCakeswarmfeathersjavachipbones
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    My mother sent me a 500+ characters joke via email like I'm some kinda caveman.

    • 611
    • FAVS
    LostGirl2323kyry5Academmissiondjdarrellripleylisaxy424Ignorant_Indiandeedragonhunterdru0887
    • 128
    • RETWEETS
    LostGirl2323djdarrellripleyIgnorant_IndianMiz_Mental_Casenoneofyours99No_tact_hereCurly_gurl135UhhmIDontKnow
    Writethatdown12joeljeffrey
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'm not ignoring you.
    I'm just letting all the people around you know that they're a lot more important than you.

    • 542
    • FAVS
    LostGirl2323SammyJB12124HourBitchinglisaxy424doralransonet__Ignorant_IndianSofieSnyderRlpihl
    • 169
    • RETWEETS
    LostGirl232324HourBitchingdoralransonet__Ignorant_IndianRlpihldanmatthews67Jennyy_LAMiz_Mental_Case
    cathisamazingWhiteMale
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Nice try girls who pretend to love sports, nice try.

    • 546
    • FAVS
    LostGirl2323BadMikeyBadStylishEnvyabsintherunnerIzianikapaniwhiskey_teacuplisaxy424doralransonet__
    • 156
    • RETWEETS
    LostGirl2323DickShotFirstIzianikapanidoralransonet__Ignorant_IndianTastesLikeBoardboredbeckywildnomad0312
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Awww...My sobriety is so damn cute when it wants to compete with my alcoholism.

    • 476
    • FAVS
    missskye81MajorboobageLostGirl2323lisaxy424Ignorant_Indiandru0887Gerapito007Jennyy_LA
    • 103
    • RETWEETS
    missskye81MajorboobageLostGirl2323Ignorant_IndianGerapito007theflipgodnoneofyours99ChipKellysBalls
    JizzIam__________
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Hey romantic good guys, the last girl who fell for a poem died in Woodstock from an acid overdose back in 69.

    • 445
    • FAVS
    LostGirl2323lisaxy424Ignorant_IndianTastesLikeBoarddru0887ClosetAtheist39SomeGothanchode
    • 112
    • RETWEETS
    LostGirl2323TweetTheDudecarlielynIgnorant_IndianTastesLikeBoardClosetAtheist39GOLD1EGLOCKSwildnomad0312
    kamiekaymee__schaeffyquake
@_correctomundo

@_correctomundo

I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet. http://favstar.fm/users/_correctomundo

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