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  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'm so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.

    • 2,202
    • FAVS
    OG_SocialWhoreJOE__11noneofyours99darrrkstarrrFrauSchaberObscureTrevorTurnerKendraabsintherunner
    • 1,109
    • RETWEETS
    FFC_UFCnoneofyours99darrrkstarrrObscureTrevorbkguilfoyObscureGentCubanaMama82just1fool
    joeljeffreyThe_Just_Factor1800Randy10InchesPlusjeffreyvanclea1I_Mee_Myself_palokineliserose5twayne1010ChazballparkThedudishTitansHomerLipglosslesboMyLongBalls
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet.

    • 1,462
    • FAVS
    shshutyourmouththejoker8819EllusiveROG_SocialWhorestoicloverCurtmacklinnoneofyours99darrrkstarrr
    • 718
    • RETWEETS
    thejoker8819FFC_UFCstoicloverCurtmacklinnoneofyours99darrrkstarrrObscureTrevorjust1fool
    DJLIWIKZGeanina_26KlvvzzJVarsityCaptainHerPinkRibbons
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    If I were immortal I would probably spend the next 200 years wasting my time on the internet.

    • 1,482
    • FAVS
    MyNaughtySide71000mindsofmeOG_SocialWhorenoneofyours99schmuckmannObscureTrevorjust1foolblack_widow0
    • 548
    • RETWEETS
    1000mindsofmeBrokenDreemznoneofyours99ObscureTrevorjust1foolblack_widow0DJLIWIKZvinfury
    ThateverydayguyMrsJekyllsHydeMr_goose007Elifcello9DaysOldsilent_musingssgtblueeyes
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I just read my own tweets and now I want to unfollow and block myself.

    • 1,109
    • FAVS
    OG_SocialWhorenoneofyours991800lorijust1foolsparkie815black_widow0ArikaaaaaDJLIWIKZ
    • 463
    • RETWEETS
    noneofyours99just1foolblack_widow0DJLIWIKZvinfuryAPANCHALYPSENOWlucidchemistryDJV410
    shashaintljuneohara65
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Saying "Drink responsibly" is like saying "Penetrate respectfully"

    • 917
    • FAVS
    lovemesomekstewLittleeLauraaashshutyourmouthnoneofyours99darrrkstarrrObscureTrevorsparkie815black_widow0
    • 529
    • RETWEETS
    Shake_x11noneofyours99darrrkstarrrObscureTrevorblack_widow0just1foolDJLIWIKZ_IndianPsycho
    krissyerased______SoapyJohnsonMelvinofYork
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I got so drunk last night I texted my current girlfriend instead of my ex.

    • 952
    • FAVS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentjust1foolsparkie815black_widow0billiebigelowHidingHarmonyboulayounabdelk
    • 469
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentjust1foolblack_widow0boulayounabdelkmdlim2077DJLIWIKZellejizzer
    danrgraberLisabug74SuburbanComaKimKardashsToe
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Love is when she won't shut the fuck up and you don't even want to kill her and dispose her body in a lake.

    • 796
    • FAVS
    RickCedTwatblack_widow0DJLIWIKZellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWMayYouMe18STONERSONSAssGrassorHash
    • 319
    • RETWEETS
    black_widow0DJLIWIKZSTONERSONSAssGrassorHashDJV410lunasgarden_JoeCoolNJzachv86
    ReDHeaDeDTaRT____scotty_claydonkamiekaymee__
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I had to use a Blackberry to check my mail. I pressed so many buttons that now I think I can fly a plane.

    • 707
    • FAVS
    black_widow0DJLIWIKZTracey_Ann_Citsme1958winstonrealtorJediWhore77jimmorrow1965Letmebethepearl
    • 249
    • RETWEETS
    DJLIWIKZnoneofyours99ellejizzerjuneohara65BipolarNaziDangerLuvr83CaveChuckcave68rebeccarocksyou
    CruelMeiga
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    You had me at unavailable.

    • 709
    • FAVS
    sparkie815black_widow0ellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWDJV410sweetg35lunasgarden__Ms_Moneypenny_
    • 243
    • RETWEETS
    RickCedTwatblack_widow0APANCHALYPSENOWlunasgarden_pinkonediaries77Kit10__S8804classickrispy
    GroperClevelandStickyickyBunsSarcasmo718
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Do you have to be funny to get stars around here or do I just have to draw a dick on my cat and tell you all about it?

    • 795
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentblack_widow0DJLIWIKZellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWMayYouMe18juneohara65DJV410
    • 147
    • RETWEETS
    DJLIWIKZjuneohara65DJV410lunasgarden_zachv86Geanina_26KRealShaughnUGANDANCRAZY
    KatarinaKriz
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Nephew: What's love?

    Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink.

    Sister: Get away from him!

    • 539
    • FAVS
    Supes252black_widow0TlaxBoy05trumpthechumpellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWMayYouMe18lunasgarden_
    • 356
    • RETWEETS
    Supes252black_widow0TlaxBoy05ellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWlunasgarden_luuloos_Ms_Moneypenny_
    Doom_Jedi
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    When mom asked about Twitter I sent her a link to a web page with sounds of the birds from Costa Rica.
    I got everything under control.

    • 603
    • FAVS
    ObscureTrevorLMHPhotogObscureGentblack_widow0TlaxBoy05ellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOW24skidoo
    • 252
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorLMHPhotogObscureGentTlaxBoy05juneohara65lunasgarden_ddsmidtJoeCoolNJ
    HuttonGray
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

    • 611
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentblack_widow0shewillbloveddTlaxBoy05ellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWJuggalotus209DJV410
    • 164
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05Violent2Dope304ShanaRose21lunasgarden_stickboy530protolaliajuneohara65LuvPug
    vaporcoffin
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'll call it smartphone when it slaps me in the face before sending a text to an ex.

    • 479
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentbilliebigelowdanyell666XclairemckXSound_of_silnceDJLIWIKZTlaxBoy05trumpthechump
    • 227
    • RETWEETS
    being_420RUFknKiddingMeDJLIWIKZTlaxBoy05lllvvvzzzcfishingAssGrassorHasheliserose5
    StrugglesBGbblovebug_00________
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    My mother sent me a 500+ characters joke via email like I'm some kinda caveman.

    • 586
    • FAVS
    twayne1010EmonalishaObscureTrevorObscureGentblack_widow0TlaxBoy05ellejizzerFrakkingAwesome
    • 119
    • RETWEETS
    ObscureTrevorObscureGentTlaxBoy05ellejizzerjuneohara65lunasgarden_ddsmidtBredwh
    Writethatdown12joeljeffrey
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    So the Pope opens a Twitter account 2 months ago and now he doesn't want to work.
    Coincidence? I think not.

    • 434
    • FAVS
    black_widow0TlaxBoy05FrakkingAwesomeAPANCHALYPSENOWDJV410bjdjtexbizNinja_Soup_ShanaRose21
    • 251
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05APANCHALYPSENOWbjdjtexbizkselew__ShanaRose21lunasgarden_67orbustGeanina_26K
    juneohara65so_amusedDannyjokesUrinElCakeswarmfeathersgoodballs
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'm not ignoring you.
    I'm just letting all the people around you know that they're a lot more important than you.

    • 503
    • FAVS
    black_widow0TlaxBoy055klp471trumpthechumpellejizzerFrakkingAwesomeAPANCHALYPSENOWScarsFourEyes
    • 148
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05kv8lunasgarden_ksk_stephaniegeniuskhanMaryamAhmadFTripson8ajsextro
    cathisamazingWhiteMale
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Nice try girls who pretend to love sports, nice try.

    • 508
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentblack_widow0ellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWDJV410lunasgarden__Ms_Moneypenny_aKhalifa101
    • 138
    • RETWEETS
    APANCHALYPSENOWlunasgarden_Geanina_26KBrandall_Shirodee_Belleronoescalonaelizabe_JayElly
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Awww...My sobriety is so damn cute when it wants to compete with my alcoholism.

    • 445
    • FAVS
    black_widow0TlaxBoy05ellejizzerAPANCHALYPSENOWDJV410lunasgarden_M3lissaMcDonald67orbust
    • 90
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy05lunasgarden_67orbustzachv86Geanina_26KUGANDANCRAZYklg1193Nahdude83
    JizzIam__________
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Hey romantic good guys, the last girl who fell for a poem died in Woodstock from an acid overdose back in 69.

    • 421
    • FAVS
    ObscureGentblack_widow0TlaxBoy0528melanymanasAPANCHALYPSENOWDani_568lyndsey_hatchDJV410
    • 96
    • RETWEETS
    TlaxBoy0528melanymanasAPANCHALYPSENOWDani_568kv8amycook1939protolalialunasgarden_
    kamiekaymee__schaeffyquake
@_correctomundo

@_correctomundo

I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet. Snapchat: charliegil