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  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'm so hungry I could eat without looking down at my phone.

    • 2,231
    • FAVS
    ZulWasTakenRohitKohli236allielectricdebbiepsychUhhmIDontKnowcarrietinideceased2045fusedude
    • 1,138
    • RETWEETS
    ZulWasTakenyusramanzoorRohitKohli236sheseemslegitUhhmIDontKnowauburnjasonGreatindians007naughtyravyn
    joeljeffreyThe_Just_Factor1800Randy10InchesPlusjeffreyvanclea1I_Mee_Myself_palokineliserose5twayne1010ChazballparkThedudishTitansHomerLipglosslesboMyLongBalls
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet.

    • 1,507
    • FAVS
    JaeMar68boobsareimpliedRohitKohli236debbiepsychRUkittenmeepsy_d_k_hiclydia_harperRandomManik
    • 748
    • RETWEETS
    JaeMar68junejuly12thatgirlmelodyRohitKohli236steedsaysHadiSheriflydia_harperToxicProbably
    DJLIWIKZGeanina_26KlvvzzJVarsityCaptainHerPinkRibbons
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    If I were immortal I would probably spend the next 200 years wasting my time on the internet.

    • 1,500
    • FAVS
    BackpackerBooiesea_of_secrets1mimibaby75idiosityRohitKohli236debbiepsychUhhmIDontKnowhaykshan
    • 558
    • RETWEETS
    junejuly12RohitKohli236UhhmIDontKnowsirmunchieSalmaElWardany1Spaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksiinkedZombie
    ThateverydayguyMrsJekyllsHydeMr_goose007Elifcello9DaysOldsilent_musingssgtblueeyes
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I just read my own tweets and now I want to unfollow and block myself.

    • 1,135
    • FAVS
    sea_of_secrets1RohitKohli236debbiepsychAsonUnique4evaUhhmIDontKnowhaykshansirmunchieDrDabDabbington
    • 481
    • RETWEETS
    IcanbabitchRohitKohli236AsonUnique4evaUhhmIDontKnowsirmunchieSalmaElWardany1Stabby_smurfkriistol1
    shashaintljuneohara65
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Saying "Drink responsibly" is like saying "Penetrate respectfully"

    • 940
    • FAVS
    Luciaa_SB_RadIS_RadyarisaurrihuffpaintjngraphsRohitKohli236debbiepsychAmbEileena
    • 551
    • RETWEETS
    zaktee1one_Hunnd0gready420ilikefunnyshitihuffpaintHanixcx_jngraphsIcanbabitch
    krissyerased______SoapyJohnsonMelvinofYork
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I got so drunk last night I texted my current girlfriend instead of my ex.

    • 977
    • FAVS
    yobobieJessSarahxstinkythecat15sofcaniffihuffpaintjngraphstanialunrealRohitKohli236
    • 480
    • RETWEETS
    TankMadeHistoryEvelyn_NazarethjngraphsRohitKohli236jeffreyvanclea1UhhmIDontKnowJessicaD622sirmunchie
    danrgraberLisabug74SuburbanComaKimKardashsToe
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Love is when she won't shut the fuck up and you don't even want to kill her and dispose her body in a lake.

    • 818
    • FAVS
    VTbeerNerdtitsmcgee1977Kris_Warmonicamnm1717ThePrime714just1foolsea_of_secrets1RohitKohli236
    • 329
    • RETWEETS
    Kris_Warmar_lee_just1foolRohitKohli236jeffreyvanclea1UhhmIDontKnowsirmunchieSalmaElWardany1
    ReDHeaDeDTaRT____scotty_claydon__kamiekaymee__
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    You had me at unavailable.

    • 733
    • FAVS
    RohitKohli236melibuffswirling_galaxylucy_nyholm123Bran_Chan87lukas_himDavidRayDogAuzhyD
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    RohitKohli236swirling_galaxylucy_nyholm123WrongGoneQntkkaroohishoreEdJohnson2Izianikapani
    GroperClevelandStickyickyBunsSarcasmo718
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I had to use a Blackberry to check my mail. I pressed so many buttons that now I think I can fly a plane.

    • 720
    • FAVS
    SvonMalmborgkcMcCowgirldebbiepsychUhhmIDontKnowhaykshansirmunchiePyjamasRichDawn_M_
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    kcMcCowgirlUhhmIDontKnowsirmunchieSalmaElWardany1dondraperrocksDJLIWIKZnoneofyours99ellejizzer
    CruelMeiga
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Do you have to be funny to get stars around here or do I just have to draw a dick on my cat and tell you all about it?

    • 806
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanFor_Fuck_SakessirmunchieFrizzyAnnieSpaced_Cowboy00katkittykatty
    • 151
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowsirmunchieSalmaElWardany1dondraperrocksDJLIWIKZjuneohara65DJV410lunasgarden_
    KatarinaKriz
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Nephew: What's love?

    Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink.

    Sister: Get away from him!

    • 552
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychUhhmIDontKnowhaykshansirmunchieFrizzyAnnieSpaced_Cowboy00TheLizardKing87Jakeisinakron
    • 363
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowsirmunchieSalmaElWardany1TheLizardKing87jtibbssaxRobRabbMusicdondraperrocksSupes252
    Doom_Jedi
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    When mom asked about Twitter I sent her a link to a web page with sounds of the birds from Costa Rica.
    I got everything under control.

    • 619
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirldebbiepsychUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanJessicaD622iddodyrdekJackandpeleSureshMKothari
    • 260
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowJackandpeleSureshMKothariJaduiPariDeepakRai_SalmaElWardany1nightshadesirisdondraperrocks
    HuttonGray
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Twitter should send notifications when you're about to get fired and divorced.

    • 621
    • FAVS
    UhhmIDontKnowhaykshanJessicaD622JaduiParioOo_aly_oOoSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksTw0Penneth
    • 172
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowJaduiParioOo_aly_oOoDeepakRai_SalmaElWardany1thumbprinzedondraperrocksGoodMistakes56
    vaporcoffin
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'll call it smartphone when it slaps me in the face before sending a text to an ex.

    • 499
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychCharlene82BEve_Says_SoFit_Me4lifeUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanJessicaD622kdeyn
    • 243
    • RETWEETS
    bingbangbucheCharlene82BSir_Olly_CEve_Says_SoFit_Me4lifeUhhmIDontKnowSalmaElWardany1thumbprinze
    StrugglesBGbblovebug_00________
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    My mother sent me a 500+ characters joke via email like I'm some kinda caveman.

    • 594
    • FAVS
    kcMcCowgirldebbiepsychreviousUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksTw0Penneth
    • 121
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowdondraperrocksObscureTrevorObscureGentTlaxBoy05ellejizzerjuneohara65lunasgarden_
    Writethatdown12joeljeffrey
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    So the Pope opens a Twitter account 2 months ago and now he doesn't want to work.
    Coincidence? I think not.

    • 442
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychPaoloMiguel74UhhmIDontKnowhaykshanSavageAphroditeSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksTw0Penneth
    • 254
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowSalmaElWardany1dondraperrocksTlaxBoy05APANCHALYPSENOWbjdjtexbizkselewShanaRose21
    juneohara65so_amusedDannyjokesUrinElCakeswarmfeathersgoodballs
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    I'm not ignoring you.
    I'm just letting all the people around you know that they're a lot more important than you.

    • 510
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychreviousUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksTw0Pennethblack_widow0
    • 152
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowSalmaElWardany1favstar_historydondraperrocksTlaxBoy05kv8lunasgarden_ksk_stephanie
    cathisamazingWhiteMale
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Nice try girls who pretend to love sports, nice try.

    • 515
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychreviousUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksTw0PennethObscureGent
    • 141
    • RETWEETS
    UhhmIDontKnowSalmaElWardany1dondraperrocksAPANCHALYPSENOWlunasgarden_Geanina_26KBrandall_Shirodee_
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Awww...My sobriety is so damn cute when it wants to compete with my alcoholism.

    • 454
    • FAVS
    debbiepsychRowdyReneseph725reviousUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocks
    • 93
    • RETWEETS
    reviousUhhmIDontKnowdondraperrocksTlaxBoy05lunasgarden_67orbustzachv86Geanina_26K
    JizzIam__________
  • _correctomundo
      Charlie @_correctomundo

    Hey romantic good guys, the last girl who fell for a poem died in Woodstock from an acid overdose back in 69.

    • 429
    • FAVS
    _iacta_est_LampMasterFlexreviousUhhmIDontKnowhaykshanSpaced_Cowboy00dondraperrocksTw0Penneth
    • 102
    • RETWEETS
    LampMasterFlexreviousUhhmIDontKnowSalmaElWardany1thumbprinzedondraperrocksTlaxBoy0528melanymanas
    kamiekaymee__schaeffyquake
@_correctomundo

@_correctomundo

I love that part of relationships when people don't know they hate each other yet. http://favstar.fm/users/_correctomundo