Well played, people that sleep when they are tired, well fucking played.

"I'm not arguing with you." - people that are arguing with you.

I prefer to have my boyfriend sleep closest to the door. That way, if we're attacked, his screams will alert me to the intruder's presence.

If you change your profile pic/avi daily, i hate you on principle.

To be someone's first love is nice, but to be someone's last love? Now that's impressive.

I will not obsess about this.
I will NOT obsess about this.
I WILL NOT OBSESS ABOUT THIS.



FUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

I sort of ... hate your face.

Teen: "You dont know me!"
Adult: "I dont know me."
Senior: "I think I finally figured it....*dead*

Ugh. I need boobs.

Another shitty day in the neighborhood.

Fb = other ppl determine your timeline
Twitter = determine your own timeline

( Twitter > Fb )

If you don't laugh til your gut hurts at least once a day while on twitter, you're doing it wrong.

I think in tweets. This revelation disturbs me.

"my life is really uncomplicated!"

- No one, ever.

Moderation is a prude.

Instead of retweeting can i just post my ENTIRE timeline.

You people are funny motherfuckers.

Don't try to seduce me by telling me how emotionally crippled you are, I'm going to walk away....

Welcome to the graveyard of ambition.

When i stop talking on here it's safe to assume I'm actually enjoying my life

Wailing infant in one hand & twitter in the other because priorities.