Paula Deen has a recipe for ham butter that is literally a mixture of ham and butter. Ham butter. It's a thing.

so what are the chances @nerfherder_band will be opening for Van Halen on their new tour? do i need to start the petition?

True happiness. @nerfherder_band http://t.co/irttF0P

i just bought 2 pairs of boots online and now i'm going to make tacos at 10:30PM. good luck trying to out-do my Saturday night.

Bowling: The only sport where I worry more about how I look from behind than how high my score is.

My New Year's resolution to eat more donuts is really going well. This feels like my year.

@badmovienitecom but that's not your job! do you have another website called  http://greatmovienite.com  that i don't know about?

Things I've learned since I've been home: The View is terrible and soap opera acting is terrible. Ground breaking revelations I'm sure.

@badmovienitecom there's a Birdemic app. A BIRDEMIC APP. had to repeat in case you didn't believe it the first time.  http://thisisbirdemic.com/medl-mobile-releases-official-movie-game-for-birdemic-2-the-resurrection/ …

@joehartzler my Thanksgiving wish this year: a Jefferson spinoff movie chronicling his (after)life as head of security at HeavenLand.

@crashcaridas RT @michaelhayes Then Anderson Cooper found out the whole Internet has a crush on him, and he was like... http://t.co/jTvMfJDh

@chrissyteigen what year is it at her house? she says she's 17 but looks 20 years older because it's 1992 where she lives.

she's this generation's Baz Luhrmann? always wear sunscreen you guys RT @buzzfeed Paris Hilton's New Song, “Drunk Text” http://t.co/5KS5WNzZ

we're one step closer!!! RT @badmovienitecom PIRANHA 3DD Posters Are Here! http://t.co/JIEzMrba

its very reasonable that i expect a burglar or dead body to be in the shower on the rare occasions i pull the curtain closed after showering

@sidereel that's not mine but that's what ends up happening. :)

can't stop me & using Whitney won't help. RT @huffingtonpost Mom was right. You really shouldn't eat raw cookie dough http://t.co/PXsDnj1t

Bret Mckenzie deserves at least an Oscar nom for "Man or Muppet." the entire soundtrack is pure magic. #TheMuppets

the battle song of Lemmiwinks vs. Wikilinks is badass. #SouthPark

unacceptable. RT @tvguide Why #Community, #Fringe, #PrimeSuspect and 8 other bubble shows might not make it: http://t.co/xgP8voC0