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People who have food in their freezers instead of just vodka & ice cream must really have their shit together.
I think it's adorable how they have subtitles for the show Honey Boo Boo. Like anyone who watches it knows how to read.
Making party favors for my friends nieces 16th birthday. Do u have any idea how hard it is to get glitter to stick to a pregnancy test?
I believe in spirits.
Vodka's my favorite.
I may or may not be lighting my cigarette with a toaster. Fuck you and your judgements ya!
Romantic tweets should be illegal at this hour. I mean really.
My friends used to call me about parties. Now everyone is married w/ kids & I get texts that super store has strawberries on sale, instead.
Amazing. I just ordered pizza online with my smart phone from my bath tub filled with bubbles. Today is awesome.
I can't tell if I'm wine or sleeping pill buzzed. That's what I call a win/win situation.
Drinking wine and playing Skyrim. 😜
Ladies, and yes, some of you guys, if we hang out long enough for our periods to sync up, I'm claiming you as a dependent on my taxes.
I hope to god I'm not alone on this but I do not know, nor do I care what the hell a honey boo boo is.
Canadian Colada from booster juice. It's all I need. It's a must.
The downside to being a young mom is having people mess with your kid. I feel young enough to kick their asses. Teenagers are pricks.
While texting, auto correct changed "wanting" to "wonton". Now I want soup. Thanks auto correct.
I am not above napping at my desk.
R.I.P Chi hair straightener. it's been a great couple years. So long good good hair days. :(
People who park downtown during an event like Canada day & lock their pets inside their cars, should be SHOT.
Ok Universe. STOP FUCKING with me! Seriously!!
You know you're not totally failing motherhood when everyone in the house has clean laundry except for yourself. 😒
Mom to three (sometimes 5), work full time. I drink, swear, dance, & usually speak my mind to a fault. Love me or hate me. Don't really care! Loving@dark_island