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  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    If only I remembered names with even 10% of the fervor and immediacy with which I remember the wifi password a barista tells me.

    • 7
    • FAVS
    y95sarah_meliashiebertAmandemicAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Hairstyles should get awards for Most Improved. Yeah, this looks like an unremarkable bun but you should see what I was dealing with.

    • 5
    • FAVS
    y95sarah_mcleversimonAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Look, Google, your creepy search memory is cool but maybe I don't WANT to know how many times I've visited the Star Trek:TNG epguides page.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    zhouyiAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Still refusing to believe August and October can possibly be separated by only a single month.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    eliashiebertAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Any trip to New York is just a challenge to see how many meals I can eat. And by meals I mean cocktails and donuts.

    • 4
    • FAVS
    eliashiebertAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    A hectic workweek is like college final exams except yr not allowed to wear pajamas in public or put yr head on the desk regularly to groan.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    cleversimonAvatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Monday morning mood: Paul Rudd picking up his cafeteria tray in Wet Hot American Summer.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    sarah_mAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Working on my dissertation, Do I Want Bangs Again?: The Photobooth Selfie as Historical Record and Analytical Tool.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    wkatieAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    "I think my contacts are drunk." -@avila is a delight.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    cleversimonAvatar_unknown_48Avatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Playing 'Did I take a photo of this wine bottle b/c I liked the wine or b/c I liked the label font?' Also known as The Douchiest Game Ever.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    cryptostropherevoltpuppyOhSoSinister
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Proustian flashback: Apparently "5 degrees and slightly hungover" is my quintessential living-in-Boston sense memory. Sounds about right.

    • 3
    • FAVS
    eliashiebertSeoulBrotherAvatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Apt. RT @dry_hugs hands up if u kinda feel like the walgreens brand version of urself today

    • 1
    • FAV
    Avatar_unknown_48
    • 1
    • RETWEET
    typicrobots
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Hahahaha you want me to switch with you from an aisle to a middle seat for a 14 hour flight? Hahahahahahaha, good one, lady.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    zhouyiphillygirl
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Husband's standard packing list includes food for me in case I get, quote, crangry. I'd be mad if it weren't so sensible.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    elizabiteAvatar_unknown_48
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    It's not so much a 'work week' as a cyclical period in which all my clothes migrate from my closet to live in a heap on a chair.

    • 2
    • FAVS
    KristineOhSoSinister
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Well, that food that was on my desk is now gone so I probably ate it: a Sherlockian tale of cunning and reason for the modern workplace.

    • 1
    • FAV
    frostinglickr
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    So... I have a question. What the FUCK, Foursquare?

    • 1
    • FAV
    Amandemic
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    When trying to get out of doing a shot with a group, the hip thing to do is shriek 'I'M 32!!!'... right?

    • 1
    • FAV
    cleversimon
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    Kate McKinnon to play lady Thor. BOOM. Where do I pick up my casting Oscar.

    • 1
    • FAV
    y95
  • _mattie
      m @_mattie

    OH, guy on bus on cell phone, discussing his college career: "I majored in tomfoolery and fuckuppery."

    • 1
    • FAV
    eliashiebert
@_mattie

@_mattie

Let's get drunk and watch Star Trek.