Favstar gets even better if you sign in.
America: making megalomania look bad since its inception.
I Can't Believe I'm Not Sleeping
I like easy Twitter, not bitter Twitter.
Why can’t everyone play nice in the sandbox & simply enjoy the escape this place provides?
And now Golden Girls is over and I must attempt to live thru the next 22 hrs.
"You may now high five the bride,"
7-year-old Andry says to his Batman and Robin action figures.
Car eyelashes, I don't fucking get it.
It's like I always say, son; anything worth doing is worth doing right. Now, will you help me pee in your mom's shampoo bottles or not?
Fact: anyone born 1970-1980 were not permitted to go thru puberty if a photo of them as a kid in an ugly dressing gown could not be produced
More like a SADlad, AM I RIGHT?!
An epic fantasy drama series on BET called "Game of Tyrones"
Men who DON'T snore freak me out. There is obviously something wrong with them.
Wanna know a secret? When you're about to sneeze, hold your finger under your nose.
I'm not a complete idiot.
You complete me.
A pumpkin patch and a pump kin patch are two TOTALLY different things in Mississippi.
I dream of a world where people understand that the word 'skinny' in 'skinny jeans' is there for a reason.
A true test of strength is letting someone amazing go because you know there's someone who can love them better.
msicaR is just racism.
I'm gonna fuck the shit out of you!
-you know who this goes out to...
I had some cake today and didn't pay for it
Stealing food from toddlers is so easy
Candy Crush Saga, but with prescription drugs.
I owe a few women an apology. And possibly thousands in child support.