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An attractive curly haired man with facial hair just walked in laughing with his babushka and I just can't right now.
They say it's the thought that counts so this year I'm thinking about gifting you all 1 million dollars for Christmas.
Appetite suppressant:see your own reflection whilst eating
I wish my car's gas tank was big enough to hold $420.69 in gas cuz then I could tell you guys about it and straight fucking win this website
I've known a lot of dashing young men, and by god, they are good at dashing ..
Riding on the handlebars is still the most cost-effective dental plan.
Russell Wilson gives hope to every Oompa Loompa that there is life after the chocolate factory.
I'm not hot but I'm 4Chan hot.
Anybody need a personal driver in 10 years? Hit me up.
I saw an Asian dude in a BMW try and parallel park for 5 minutes and then drove away. I was all like, “boom”.
I'm about to go have a hot, crazy onesome.
I know who you are. I started unfollowing you then following you then unfollowing you a long time ago.
Tonight's almost as exciting as the time I went to a birthday party with chicken pox and they made a bed for me on the family room floor.
I once microwaved the entire Spin Doctors catalog and sent it straight through the garbage disposal just now.
In the soccer version of Space Jam the Monstars have a HUGE lead at halftime. It’s like 2-0.
Tip: Don't trust anyone that has an irrational love of horses.
If Jim Boeheim's autobiography isn't called A Clockwork Orange then *whistles* Offensive foul. Orange. Number 35. 1-and-1.
Chai does wonders for the soul.
Tell me more about poverty & life on the streets, medium grade rapper from Ohio driving an Escalade.
Some problems you can't drink away...that's what best friends are for.