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I love when the cat sits on me and tells me how pretty I am, then he says 'I don't know why you don't have any friends' and makes it awkward
has anyone ever noticed how violet's aren't blue but are, in fact, violet?
hello twitter I've arrived to have an emotional breakdown all over you.
I just ate like 8 Jaffa Cakes in a row so I should probably be put on suicide watch.
is grunge still a thing that is happening
Sharon Osbourne's McQueen piece is absolutely beautiful, dear oh dear
a major flaw that i have is that i literally cannot resist letting doggies kiss me
my ma likes to heckle me when i put my make up on: "go on, make yourself paler" "oooh we've got a ghost in the house!" "you're see through"
I would pay snakes to bite you.
my hands smell like hospital. it's radical.
anyone dare call my Elvis and Priscilla soft grunge ever again I will tear their tiny faces off with my bare hands.
quite ironic that I like terrible jokes because my entire life is one.