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I may not have my shit together but at least my car doors are the same color as the rest of my car.
Because I could not stop for Death
I stopped at Taco Bell
and Death was like "we good"
Stop wearing flare jeans with your boots and learn how to dress yourself oh my god no wonder aliens haven't come to earth
If a John Green novel is "the greatest romance of our decade" get me out of this decade ASAP
you asked for a couple of ice cubes AND I ONLY GAVE YOU ONE
WOMEN ARE MAGIC CREATURES MADE OF SHADOWS AND ELECTRICITY DO NOT TRUST THEM
Woman: I need birth control
Man: I am a man and I don't need birth control so I don't think you do actually
Hey if you're 20 and are thinking about writing an internet article about being 20, I have some advice for you: don't
My aunt Kelly just took my arm and said "Jessica I used to give a shit. I used to care so much." SAME AUNT KELLY
*goes to sorority recruitment events as a senior for free food*
Sadness is not beautiful or poetic stop listening to The Smiths and wash your hair
My family is so insane that we had to place a strictly enforced ban on hard liquor for this year's party. God bless
Nervous almost-done undergrad. Likes corgis and breakfast food. Warrior poet who writes about kitsch and kitchens.