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Because I had "straight" forced down my throat for 18 years and it caused me a lot of problems. https://twitter.com/shotime40/status/735152529131065346 …
I may not have my shit together but at least my car doors are the same color as the rest of my car.
So I see ONU can pay someone to take pictures of us walking in the snow but not someone to salt the sidewalks. Ok
Because I could not stop for Death
I stopped at Taco Bell
and Death was like "we good"
Stop wearing flare jeans with your boots and learn how to dress yourself oh my god no wonder aliens haven't come to earth
If a John Green novel is "the greatest romance of our decade" get me out of this decade ASAP
COMIN OUTTA MY CAGE AND IVE BEEN DOING JUST FINE
you asked for a couple of ice cubes AND I ONLY GAVE YOU ONE
"Haha u write poetry?? I took a poetry class in college" no. Listen buddy. I live poetry. I am poetry *whispers* it is not a game
Alternative couples: human and car, human and carnival ride, human and inflatable whale
Not alternative couples: same-sex partnerships
My aunt Kelly just took my arm and said "Jessica I used to give a shit. I used to care so much." SAME AUNT KELLY
WOMEN ARE MAGIC CREATURES MADE OF SHADOWS AND ELECTRICITY DO NOT TRUST THEM
Woman: I need birth control
Man: I am a man and I don't need birth control so I don't think you do actually
Hey if you're 20 and are thinking about writing an internet article about being 20, I have some advice for you: don't
i named my cat after the Egyptian god of the dead & i believe in aliens
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