#PornStruggles jerking off and it switches to the camera that's focused on his balls

Niggas (especially black women) find any reason not to tip the waitress "Oh that bitch looked at me funny, NO TIP FOR YOU BOO BOO"

#SheNotReallyFeelingYouIf she can tweet but not text you back

#SheNotReallyFeelingYouIf you say "I love you" and she reply "that's what's up my nigga"

S/O to niggas that was fuckin at 1:59 and ended at 3:00 talm bout "she can't call me a minute man no more" #DaylightSavingSwindle

Ladies if BOYSHORTS don't make your ass look good then there is no hope for you

#GasSoHigh I put $5 in my tank and it went from E to LOL

Fat bitches be talm bout they got that WET WET no bitch that's THIGH SWEAT

Mentioning celebrities on twitter is like those letter we used to write to Santa

@rickeysmiley S/O to fat people that gotta rock 3 good times to get up out the bed

I hate when I call a bitch ugly and she be like "you tried to fuck tho"........nobody ever said I didn't fuck ugly bitches

#GasSoHigh bitches think you Ballin if you leave yo car running "Oh girl look he got money"

@rickeysmiley S/O to all the thug preachers that called judas a weak ass bitch for snitching

Whoever put that P in front of pterodactyl was an asshole

I hate when sideline chicks say "Niggas ain't shit" bitch you part of the problem

Y'all chose the sluttiest pics to be your AVI but got in yo bio "do not dm me" or "this ain't eharmony" bitch this ain't playboy either

"I like my girl to wear Js" - a faggot

When a woman said "What did you just say?" it's not cause she didn't hear you she's just giving you a chance to unsay what you said

Everybody from Mississippi got relatives in Chicago

If you have a twitter wife and y'all separate does she get half of your followers?? Fuck that bitch you better sign a #TweeNup