I'm a 35 year old man who recently started wearing a friendship bracelet for the first time and I don't care. Being a dad rules.

I think @amandapalmer is like family channel.

http://t.co/7KYoSreB - Dog lost in Calgary #yyc #bridlewood - Name is Oscar. He escaped with no collar. Let me know if you see him!

Girls cannot tell me that they are a Scorpio without Bell Biv DeVoe's song Poison playing in my head.

Whoa. Or he was more than one person? MT @disinfo: Jesus Had Shapeshifting Powers, According To Ancient Coptic Text  http://goo.gl/fb/WQicS 

The moon gets really big and everyone calls it super. Yet your buddy gets really big and we all just call them fat. We're a weird bunch.

I thought the apocalypse had begun... turns out a trucker was just letting all the neighborhood kids honk the horn of his truck. Awesome.

Ha! I laughed forever.  http://i.imgur.com/wFhjaAw.gif 

No, I'm not married to the idea but it DOES psychologically abuse me and take me for granted... so I see what you're saying.

Wouldn't a dragon have to be warm blooded?

"Stay positive" is a stupid piece of advice. Just be honest. If you aren't feeling it, don't put on a mask, be real.

I take such good care of anyone who will let me. I just wish I'd let me.

My most favourite playthings are words.

#yyc Help find a white PT Cruiser guilty of a hit and run on eastbound Crowchild Trail July 15, around 5:30pm. http://t.co/bmm97iUH

Remember when people were recognized rather than tabulated?

I will not rage. I will instead remind myself that I don't give a crap what they think of me.

Dear Americans, an important step was taken to eliminate your Internet freedoms while you were distracted. Keep on it. Love, aNs

Things were better for me back in the grunge era when being a loser was cool...

Awesome animated gif  http://i.imgur.com/RvjhKyC.gif 

Don't deny I can't sing and I'm poor. You make a liar, you make a thief, you make a prince out of the poet in me. #KulaShaker