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welp its 3 minutes before i have to leave for work so this is when i get dressed
The nicest art in my apartment is a post-it on the wall in my kitchen that says, "Get it together."
As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel.
chameleon magician: for my next trick, i will disappear
chameleon teen in the crowd: HE JUST BLENDED IN WITH THE CURTAIN
10 YEAR OLD ME: Alright, snow! I hope I get a snow day!
24 YEAR OLD ME: I'm probably going to die on my commute tomorrow. Everything sucks.
someone trying to dramatically storm away but they have to go up a spiral staircase
[DOG MAGICIAN] think of a color, any color...is it...gray?
[OTHER DOG] oh my GOD
Guacamole is extra? [slides cashier a hundred dollar bill and winks] How about now?
"Sir do u know why I pulled you over?"
"Because you want to take me to dinner officer?"
"No, god no...well, unless you want to?" [Giggles]
21yo Christian dude studying things at Purdue. RA @ Hawkins Hall. Cycling noob. Soccer fan. INTJ. p3
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