I need a psychiatrist who likes a challenge.

Time does not heal all wounds.

Dear real life: Please go away.

My tolerance for dumbassery is exceeded for the year.

Facebook, home of fucking cryptic updates. Twitter, home of fucking honest updates.

Men who are into women: Just because an attractive woman talks about sex on Twitter doesn't make her a whore. Please treat us with respect.

I’ll have the self loathing cupcake with the anxiety filling in the middle and the paranoia sprinkles on top, please.

Wish I could delete life moments like I can tweets!

I’ve got my own crazy to handle. I can’t deal with yours. Go away.

I hate politics. Let’s talk about sex.

It really sucks when you try to be honest about who you really are but you still can't really be your true self. I can't even explain it....

My dog just hugged me. What amazing animals dogs are. Man’s and woman’s best friend indeed.

I can only hope that all this pain is worth it somehow. Maybe I was chosen to endure it for a reason. Maybe it will be revealed one day.

Dear Twitter: Real life called. It wants its people back.

I'm just doing the best I can with what I have. Who isn't? We're all fighting some battle. That's why we should be mindful of each other.

Life is too short to settle for mediocrity and negativity.

Never miss an opportunity to shut your mouth and really listen to what someone else is saying. You might learn something.

Just when I think the human race can’t get any dumber, some motherfucker comes along and proves me wrong.

Now I know what Mellencamp meant when he sang "oh yeah, life goes on, long after the thrill of livin' is gone."

The difference between you and me is that I know I'm crazy.