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My mum was being cheeky to my granny so my granny hit her across the head with her paper. Ive never laughed so much in my life.
Becky Johnson was trying to argue with me in biology today #roaster
Me and Dave the Rave are watching Geordie Shore and basically crying. I want to go back to Mexico
My cat is now tucked up in bed with his bald barbie. It used to have hair but he cut it off because he idolises britney spears.
"I wish RIP stood for return if possible" One of the many reasons I fucking hate Facebook.
Police got my purse and the guy who stole it 🎉🎉
Dad: "What's that new Hannah Montana song about the tennis ball?"