Donald and Daisy Duck are always dressed for a quickie.

No es puta, sólo es sumamente liberal en el terreno sexual.

@thedanlawler I don't want to imagine the experience of watching Brokeback Mountain in 4D...

Dude, your blow is so adulterated that the police would let you go if they caught you and tasted it.

“Hair is overrated, anyway.” —Balding guy.

Ripped your favorite t-shirt? Look on the bright side: now you have a cumrag.

"Final Cut" sounds more to me like a male to female sex change surgery than a video editing software.

I don't consider myself a kleptomaniac. I just like to leave people puzzled: "Where's my toothbrush?" "Anybody seen the fucking corkscrew?"

Salir a la calle con $50 pesos es mucho más que ser pobre: es tener huevos.

@nali_moah Hey, estoy interesado en ser Community Manager. ¿A qué dirección te envío mi CV? Gracias.

Debería existir un claxon especial para pedir perdón cuando la cagas.

@iamenidcoleslaw If your tweets were suppositories, I'd fake sick all the time. Bet that's the sexiest shit you've ever heard.

New Kids on the Block are back to make a buck!

How many porn actresses can you name? You pervert...

I am a precious, wondrous, special, unique, divine, rare, valuable, whole, sacred, total, complete, entitled, worthy and deserving person.

"Con la parte que te toca ya puedes rehacer tu vida." ¿Con la mitad de la venta de la mota que llevaban en 4 llantas? Por favor... #bullshit

She's not a whore. She just happens to be VERY liberal, sexually.

¡Hey DJ, tírame un beat moja-chochas!